52 Weeks of Giving: Week Two

Peace.

That was the challenge for last week and boy was it a challenge! You'd think in this season of good cheer and hope that living a week as an intentional peace maker would be a breeze. You'd think the kids would be nothing but peaceful when they were showered with gifts and sweets for seven days straight.

You'd think. But no.

Living peace at Christmas was tough. Family commitments, crowded houses, tight time lines, lots of sugar and little sleep made an already unnatural concept seem completely unattainable. By Boxing Day (December 26) we were totally undone and Mr. Awesome and I realized that we needed to regroup - desperately - so we hunkered down in my parents' guest bedroom and had a family meeting.

We discussed the meaning of peace and why discord can so easily sneak into our relationships. We explained to the kids that Jesus promised to leave us peace because He knew that life has the tendency to be anything but peaceful. They seemed to 'get it' and I was optimistic ... for about 37 seconds. That's how long it took them to walk from the bedroom to the family room and start arguing again.

This time it didn't take a thirty minute conversation to quell the flames of irritation. This time all I did was walk into the room and ask, "Are you going to choose to be a peace maker or a peace stealer?" Immediately Mischief piped up, "A maker!" and the other two reluctantly agreed.

There were many more moments of chaos and stress during the week but having the term 'peace maker' become part of our family vocabulary made it easier to work through squabbles. With all of us understanding the meaning and importance of peace and the offer of Godly help to find peace, we were all on the same page and well ... that's a start at least.

Personally, studying peace this past week has been a much needed tune up. I have felt out of control and angry for weeks but the more I focused on the meaning of peace the more my anger, discontent and frustration melted away. The more I opened my heart to goodness, the more goodness I saw.

We're not done with peace. We are going to continue to pursue it but to our pursuit of a life of peace we are going to add this week's challenge ...

Week Two: Be Prayerful

Make a list of people you can pray for, people beyond just our family ... you can list people you know or people in far away places that might need prayer. Put the list in your bedroom and remember to pray for them each day.


1 Timothy 2:1 
I urge you then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.

Let's Chat:

1. What does 'petition'  and  'intercession'  mean? 
2. Why do we need to pray for people and be thankful for them?
3. Can you think of a time when praying helped you?
4. Make a list of a few people to pray for, you can add to the list later if more people come to mind.



The greatest gift we can give to others is our prayers.
--unknown

52 Weeks of Giving: Week One

So it started with this ...

I stumbled across that video while I was looking for something Christmasy to show my Sunday School class. About 10 seconds into the video I was all in. This 'conspiracy' resonated with me so deeply, it was exactly along the lines of conversations Mr. Awesome and I were having about our family and the values we were imparting.

That night Mr. Awesome and I decided to do 24 Days of Giving. Instead of giving our kids advent calendars with treats or toys we gave them a calendar that had daily challenges to give. Some things were as easy (or as difficult) as an attitude adjustment, like the days the kids were asked to give their attention or cooperation. Other days had the kids doing random acts of service or blessing like handing out candy canes to friends and teachers or choosing one chore to do well without being asked. Still others were giving something tangible to those in need, like taking groceries to the food bank or donating winter wear to a shelter. Each day we challenged our kids (and ourselves) to remember what this season is really about. Each day we challenged our kids to look beyond themselves.

Honestly, it was a slow start. They missed their Lego and chocolates but within a few days they began to look forward to their new challenge. They loved finding ways to help others and they loved telling us about how they executed their advent each day.

That's when Mr. Awesome and I decided to kick this up a notch.

We support the ideals and the campaigns of Free the Children and we are trying to shift our family's focus from Me to We. We feel very strongly that the answer to less bullying, less teen depression and less societal angst is not a bunch of 'anti' campaigns but a shift of focus, a return to a village mentality. We feel that if we empower our children (and ourselves) to recognize a need and to fill it where they are with what they have they will develop a healthy sense of self and their place in the Bigger Picture. It was with all this in mind that we decided to give our children less this Christmas so that we could give them more.

We intentionally spent much less on gifts this year so we could plan to support them as they step into a year of giving, 52 Weeks of Giving, to be exact. We came up with 52 different challenges that we will be tackling this year as a family. Each Sunday we will open another challenge and work together to complete it. And just like our advent, some tasks are a change of heart, some are small acts of kindness and others are huge things that we're going to need help to pull off.

And now, I invite you to join this conspiracy. Join us as we change the world, change ourselves with one deliberate choice of kindness each week.

Each Monday I will give a recap of how our previous week's challenge went and give you the challenge for the coming week. For those who are interested, I will also include the Bible verse for the week that ties into the challenge and a couple of discussion questions about the theme. If you choose to participate in one during the year, one a month or each one with us please let me know. Let me know how its going and how its changing your family's world view.

I am excited for this year, for the lessons we'll learn as a family and for the changes and growth that will happen in each one of us. Follow me on Instagram to track our progress and don't forget to leave comments here, too!  Let's change our world with kindness!

Week One: Give Peace.

This week walk away. Walk away from arguments, walk away from meanness. Compromise. Don't get mad, don't get even. Be a maker of peace.

John 13:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hears be troubled and do not be afraid.

Let's Chat:

1. What does 'peace' mean? What does it look like or feel like?
2. Why is it so hard to walk away? Why do we always feel like we have to prove that we're right?
3. What is the opposite of peace? How do you feel when you're not peaceful?
4. How can we make peace? Make a list of 5 intentional ways you can be a bringer of peace this week.

If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
~Mother Teresa

Christmas: Ungrinched

I haven't posted in a while and it was intentional. I've written posts but I haven't published them. They were not the kind of thing I want to put out into the world. They were dark, complainy rants. Not exactly what you've come to expect from me.

This dark, complainy me has sucked the joy out of Christmas, too.

Usually I can't wait to deck the halls, make Christmas cards and watch a few Christmas flicks. I take extra pleasure in my fuzzy Christmas socks. I fill the house with guests and music and good cheer. I am an ambassador of Christmas. Usually.

Not this year.

This year I have cocooned myself away, grumbled about gifts, complained about cards and snarked about holiday traditions. I have given the Grinch a run for his money this year. "You're as cuddly as a cactus ... You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile ... Your soul is a dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!"  Yeah, that's about right.

I've not been enjoying this holiday season and in fact, as hard as I've tried to capture the real virtues of Christmas, y'know stuff like hope, joy, peace and goodwill, I've only succeeded in making myself (and anyone whose had the misfortune of encountering me recently) miserable with my rants on consumerism and selfishness.

So, this afternoon as I sat Christmas crafting with a very grumpy heart my iPad chimed. Someone sent me a message. When I opened it up, this is what I saw ...

Ahh ... this is it.

This is what I had forgotten. This  is what this season is all about. Its not about gifts and trees and concerts. Its not even about giving to others or spreading good cheer. Its about The Good News. Its about the moment Hope entered the world and changed everything. Its about declaring from the mountain tops and mall escalators that Christ has come and we are no longer alone or lost. We are no longer in the dark because He is the light.

So, this season, right now, know that you are not alone. Know that as dark as things may seem there is Light. Know that hope and peace and joy can, too, be yours. Know that God so loved you that He came to find you, to know you and to bring you comfort. Know that you are not alone.

I sing because I’m happy , I sing because I’m free
His eye is on the sparrow And I know He watches me (He watches me)
~Civilla D. Martin

Choose Freedom

"You will never get the life you want if you continue to be negative about the life you have. Negativity is the shackle that keeps you bound to the very thing you want most to be free of."

That's the thought that woke me up at 2 this morning. I heard it like someone was saying it in my ear. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. There it was. The truth.

I consider myself to be a fairly positive person but this last month has put me to the test. We've had a lot of stuff, yucky, junky, useless stuff, come our way in the last month and frankly, its been starting to get to me. I have become weary. I have become touchy, snippy and sarcastic. I have become someone I don't really like to be around.

And I guess, last night I had enough of myself.

Last night I needed a wake up call, literally. I need a good stern talking to and there it was. I needed to get real and get perspective. The truth is that some of the stuff that's happened bites. Its maddening and frustrating and I feel very powerless to change it. The truth also is that its not up to me to change anything. Its not my will that must prevail.

Ouch.

Yep.

My only responsibility is to live my life the best I know how. I need to be kind, patient and live joy. I need to freely give forgiveness. I need to walk in love and shroud myself in peace. I need gentleness to be my trademark and hope to be my guide. I need to let go of the things that hold me back and drag me down. I need to move forward. I need to enter into the goodness that is waiting for me. I need to remember why I am living this life, who I am living it for and the truth that echoes inside my heart.

Nothing can separate me from The Love because I have been chosen, made worthy, made righteous and equipped to live this life. This One Life.

Today I choose to let go of the negativity. Today I choose to be more than I feel, to be more than the circumstances that surround me, to be more than I think I can be. Today I choose hope and love and laughter. Today I choose to be free.

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Thanksgiving Days

Yesterday was Thanksgiving where we were but not where we're from. Our Canadian Thanksgiving was in October but yesterday we were in Atlanta and it was American Thanksgiving.

I usually like to spend American Thanksgiving huddled up under a cozy blanket with a steaming cup of coffeejuice (yeah, I know ... sounds like how I like to spend most days!) while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love the floats, Broadway numbers and gigantic balloons. I love listening to Al Roker smile-talk his way through 8 hours of parade commentary. I love watching singers lip sync the same song over and over as they hold on to their lurching float for dear life. I love watching the high school band geeks get their moment to shine. I love the whole thing and look forward to it each year.

That's what I usually do but this year I did the unusual. This year we went to the Georgia Aquarium, hung out at Olympic Park and then went out for dinner at a classic Atlanta restaurant. We mixed with the thankful throngs this year and it was unusual.

It felt odd at first being wished all kinds of happiness on day that was just an ordinary day for us. During our four block walk from our hotel to the aquarium random people on the street wished us Happy Thanksgiving. The homeless woman, wrapped in her sleeping bag on a bench, wished us Happy Thanksgiving. The Arab family who let us go in front of them in line wished us a Happy Thanksgiving. The mom who we gave our table to at the cafe wished us a Happy Thanksgiving as she balanced a tray stacked with juice and cupcakes while managing her three little girls. The older gentleman, with the killer smile, who served us at the restaurant wished us a Happy Thanksgiving.

Like I said, at first these greetings seemed odd to us. It wasn't our Thanksgiving, after all, we were outsiders, foreigners, separate from all this thankfulness. But with each wish of merriment in that sweet southern drawl the distance between us and them decreased. Each time a stranger smiled at us and bade us happiness we felt a little less like strangers and a little more like neighbours.

When we returned to our hotel, the valet driver said to Mischief, "I hope you had a great Thanksgiving little man." Mischief just smiled and nodded but when we were in the elevator he said to me, "Mom, this was great! It was just an ordinary day for us but everyone was so nice to us!"

"This day made my heart happy. Everyone was so friendly. I felt like I was really a part of this city!" Dude added.

They were right. I can't remember the last time I felt so connected to so many random strangers and all it took were smiles and wishes of joy. Both free and painless to give. Both priceless and precious to receive.

What if we made every day Thanksgiving day? What if we started each day being thankful for the blessings in our lives and wishes others we encounter happiness? What if we treated random people on the street more like neighbours? What if opened our hearts to the goodness in others and shared our own goodness freely?

If we lived every day like it was Thanksgiving Day there would be so much more to be thankful for!

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

A Day in the Life of a Mom in a Van

So ... we're road tripping and sometimes just tripping out.

Yesterday during our drive through five states, I took a bunch of random pictures, mostly to keep myself amused but I'm going to share them with you. Enter this portal into the Random Boredom Verging on Craziness that is our Family Vacation Day Three.

Starting the day with Legos, American Girls and Flashlights, oh my!

Flowers??? In late November??? What???

Decisions, Decisions!

Apparently Maroon 5 has mastered the science of time travel,
the last time I saw a pay phone anywhere it was 1992!

And somehow they took me with them!!! Suddenly, I'm back in 1992!

Oh Tennessee ... please show me a Starbucks!
I've been looking for hours!

You looking for a Starbucks, too Jason?

Nashville delivers and so does Mr. Awesome ...
this is the best thing I've seen all day!

Terror on the airwaves ...
I don't even want to know what it'll do when it gets me!

Atlanta ... finally!

And that's the wonderful thing about family travel:  it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.  ~Dave Barry

Anti Anti

On our drive through Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee and Georgia today I  had a lot of spare time to read billboards and bumper stickers. And I gotta tell ya’ I’m annoyed.

The first one to cause my eyebrows to twitch was a bumper sticker with the American flag with the words ‘No aid or comfort to the enemy. Not ever!’ Then there was the one with a hand gun and the words, ‘America the brave’ plastered underneath and the one with a rifle and the words, ‘In guns we trust’ and then there were the seven ‘Nobama’ bumper stickers we passed in a one hour stretch.

All of these messages fed into my irritation about people who are anti all kinds of things but pro very little. People get all fired up over how much they are against war, religious persecution, discrimination, disease and bullying but if you were to ask the same people what they are for I’m afraid very few of them would know how to respond.

 All of those things are good things to be against. All socially conscious, moral people should be against anything that causes pain and division but what are you putting in their place? Are you just trading hates? Have you traded the hate of people who are not like you with the hate of the hate? Pals, that’s like pushing a cloud.

Being anti something is taking a stand, being pro something is moving forward. Being anti is putting up boundaries, being pro is building a monument for change. Being anti is feeding hate, being pro is fostering life.

Be anti-bullying but also be pro kindness, acceptance and encouragement. Be anti war but also be pro peace, tolerance and understanding. Be anti religious persecution but be pro love, unity and respect.  Be anti AIDs and malaria but be pro research, debt forgiveness and clean water initiatives. Be anti hate but be sure to be pro each other.

Being against is not enough. In order to really change things, in order to end violence, hate and strife we MUST be for things, for good things.

Be for Hope.

Be for Peace.

Be for Encouragement.

Be for Kindness.

Be for Change.

My fondest wish ... is that you will find something in your life worth fighting for. Because when you do you will have discovered a way to unite the will of the spirit to the work of the flesh and all of humanity will have discovered fire for the second time.

~Martin Sheen