Living a 'Whatever' Life

What's the standard you live by? Not the right words you say when asked random questions like this one but the real honest to goodness, walk it out every day in every way, standard you live your life by? What factors in when you make decisions? What words come flying out of your mouth in an emotionally charged moment? What influences your behaviour?

We've been talking to Dude about this topic a lot lately. We've been working on having him understand the importance of taking responsibility for his actions and decisions. It hasn't been easy; not to communicate and certainly not to enact, but we're finding our way.

This week our 52 Weeks of Giving Challenge (yes we're still doing them, even though I've not been writing about them) focuses on respect. The challenge is to learn about respect, what it is, what it looks like and how it feels to be respected and disrespected. Interesting one, considering what's been going on the last couple of weeks.

I've been struggling with how to set the parameters of respect for our kids. I don't want a list of rules for them to follow, I want them to understand  respect. This morning I found a thread that will, hopefully, begin to weave together the big picture of respect.

Every Tuesday morning I lead devotionals at Dude and Crafty's school. Several parents in the community take turns each week leading the kids in a five minute Bible focus before they start their day. Its voluntary and we do it before class starts.

So this morning, as I was walking into the school to get ready for devotions, I stumbled into the middle of a student exchange that exemplified disrespect. Honestly, I wanted to keep walking, as if I didn't hear what was said, but I couldn't. I was the adult on the scene. I had to respond. So I did.

With this incident fresh on my mind, I walked into the library and looked into the thirty eager faces waiting for my words of wisdom. The only thought I had was, "I got nothing for you." That's when the thread appeared.

I asked the kids to think of the words that are their 'go to' insults, the first thing that comes to mind when they are mad, put down, humiliated. Now, is that insult true? Is it noble? Is it just? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it good? Is it virtuous? Is it praiseworthy? Probably not. Yet, its what comes out of us first when we're under pressure. I'm guilty of this too. I have my favourite quasi swears and ripping zingers. I have a list of things that run through my mind when I'm under pressure and I can tell you, none of them are just, pure or noble.

But what if we retrained our brain? What if we decided to set our standard high? What if we only spoke words that were true and noble, just, pure, lovely, good, virtuous and praiseworthy? What if we operated our lives in relation to a standard of respect. Because that's all this is, really. Its the idea of respecting yourself and others enough to only build up and never tear down. To only encourage and never humiliate. To only extend grace and never judgement. To only bring peace and never harm.

Crazy idea, eh?

But what if? What if we lived a Whatever Life? What if?

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and f there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do and the God of peace will be with you.
~Philippians 4:8 & 9

#52 Weeks of Giving: Week 7

We are still working on the logistics of Week 6 and when we get it sorted out, you'll be the first to know but for now ... we're on to week 7.

Since we've started this year of giving the kids have been great about finding other ways to give, looking for opportunities to bless other people and show kindness in their everyday life. I was pretty proud today when I heard Mischief tell his class that you can use your passion ("the thing that makes your heart excited") to help other people and when Crafty explained to me that she was trying to be a peacemaker at school by not calling a certain boy names even though he was really bugging her. I think the kids are starting to 'get it'.

This week the challenge is 'To be a Blessing!'

This week choose one person you can bless with an Act of Service. It has to be something you wouldn't normally do for someone you wouldn't normally bless. Be creative!

James 2:14 - 17
   Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, “Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!” and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?

The challenge for week 7 happened to coincide with some things I was reading in the book of James in the New Testament of the Bible. As I read the words of this letter something stirred in my heart. Questions began to cycle through my mind and I didn't like all of the answers.

People like to think they're good, especially church going folks. We like to think we are kind to others, generous and forgiving but are we really? Or is that just our 'church face'? And those who don't attend church or ascribe to a certain faith aren't off the hook here. There are just as many non-churched folks who think they are 'good' people simply because they don't cheat or murder people on a regular basis. But is that criteria good enough?

Not for me.

I like to think I'm a generous, thoughtful person but I know that's not always the case. I'm always kind and good and generous to people I like and when its convenient. Sometimes I'm kind and generous to people I like when its inconvenient and to people I don't like when its convenient. I'm rarely kind or generous to people I don't like or know when its inconvenient. I say I am but really, I'm not. That's why reading this passage in James felt like a kick in the pants.

Basically, James is calling us on our flaky behaviour. He's reminding us its not enough to appear to be loving and connected if we aren't really. It's not good enough to wear a ribbon or a wristband in support of a cause if you don't really support the cause. Its not enough to make social justice your trend, its not enough. Its not enough for the people on the other end of your trendy cause, the ones with incurable diseases and no clean drinking water, and it shouldn't be enough for you.

In another passage, James compares words of faith without actions to back it up to a body without a spirit; just another corpse. I don't want to be a corpse. I don't want to say the right words without having the actions to back it up. So as I look at this week's challenge and all the challenges of this year I am trying to find tangible ways to connect my faith and my understanding of what is right to my life. I want to live better, to serve better, to love better.

Join us in putting actions to those intentions. Join us in bringing life to an old corpse, to making justice more than a trend. Join us is giving past convenience and being as good as we can be. For real.

Denouncing evil is a far cry from doing good.
― Philip Gourevitch

52 Weeks of Giving: Week 5 Debrief

Normally, when I recap a week I talk about what the kids have learned but these past couple of weeks have had me in the hot seat and although the kids are learning I feel compelled to talk about what's been stirring in my heart.

Week 5, before 'the break,' was about praying for the people who are annoying or mean or irritating. This is something I've done for a number of years and seriously, it has brought me peace and a deeper understanding that people aren't really morons, sometimes they are just drowning in their own stuff and they don't realize how they are affecting others. I'm pretty comfortable with myself on this point so I didn't expect the growing pains that have been mine these last couple of weeks.

I have a pal who has been walking a rocky road in one of her other friendships. There has been misunderstandings that have lead to hurt and a break down in that circle of friends. I've spent some time talking this out with her and encouraging her to keep on keeping on. I know exactly how she feels because I've been in the same boat. Seriously, who hasn't?

Ladies, I'm talking to you now.

What's with us? Why is it so hard to walk in grace and drop hurt? Why do we so desperately cling to offence and our right to be right? Why do we so often choose pride over relationship? Why can't we recognize that we are each walking our own path, each facing our own struggles and we could each use a little more grace and a little less judgement?

There is this fire inside me to see women come together in friendship, in unity for the sake of our families, for the sake of our communities, for the sake of ourselves. I know that there is tremendous power in true friendship. I know that there is a deep well of love, esteem and appreciation in the heart of every woman for those they hold dear. I know because I have experienced it in my own heart and in the hearts of my closest friendships.

I also know that there is no one who can bring pain, hurt, envy, jealousy, strife and heart break like a woman. There is no being on the planet more calculating, vengeful and destructive to a woman than another woman. I have seen women crushed, devastated and humiliated at the words of another woman. I have seen self esteem crumble in one just by the mere glance of another. Its true, that old saying, those who you love the most have the greatest power to hurt you.

So why do we do this to each other? Why do we do this to ourselves?

I don't know. But I have an idea of how to stop it, how to move beyond the hurt. This goes back to the Week 5 Challenge. Prayer. It was while I was praying for some of those I find difficult to love that I had an IGIM ("I got it moment") about chicks and relationships.

Relationships have seasons.

Okay, I didn't say it was a new revelation or some kind of major epiphany. Its just something that finally clicked for me. Relationships have seasons. I finally figured out what this means to me and to my friendships.

I used to hate hearing that phrase. I thought it was flippant and dismissive and an excuse to quit when the going got tough. I would lament for years when I had a falling out with a pal or lost contact with someone. It would bother me to no end that I had this floating string just hanging there, off of me, where a person used to be connected to me. But something clicked these last few weeks and here's the second part to that IGIM, the part that made everything snap into focus for me ...

Reconciliation doesn't always mean a return to relationship. Sometimes its a coming together so you can part ways peacefully.

I think we, women, torture each other in friendship because we don't know how to let go gracefully. We hold tight to a relationship that has run its course, we love until we hate. We are so afraid of being alone that we often times choke the life out of a friendship in our desperate attempt to keep it close. I know I have. But I have also seen the most remarkable thing when I let go, when I yield to the natural ebb and flow of friendship, when I release my death grip in favour of opening my hands and heart to life. I have seen life and light and growth.

In recent years, when I have felt the drift of time, distance and circumstance enter one of my friendships I have taken a deep breath and let go. I haven't withdrawn or retreated. I haven't pulled away from the relationship, I've relaxed. I've accepted that sometimes things change but I have also left the door open to continue the relationship in a different way or at a later time. I have honoured the friendship enough not to suffocate it to death. And in this I have found a sense of peace and unity in my relationships that I have never known before.

I'm not sure if this is making sense. The thing is, we can have unity while we go our separate ways. We can have community apart because true, honest to goodness sisterhood is about respect and grace, not about hierarchy of friendship. Life comes from respect, not comparison and judgement. Authentic relationship is about celebrating our uniqueness and living with grace.

There is more to this, more to be said but for now ...  pray for each other. Respect each other. Love each other enough to let go and grow.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.  ~Ivy Baker Priest

The Art of Regrouping

So its going to be more like 51 Weeks of Giving or maybe 49 or even 46.

We've taken this week off ... no envelope opening, no questions no soul searching. This week we have called a 'hold' on our project. This week, in the midst of prayer lists scribbled on napkins, half finished fruit trees and the general chaos of our life, Mr. Awesome and I decided that we need to circle the wagons and tighten up the reigns ... or some kind of cowboy analogy.

These last couple of weeks have been particularly full of commitments and opportunities and while we've been busy committing and opportuning things have gone a little mental in This Random House.  Some things, important things (like hygiene and nourishment) have slipped trough the cracks. Our house looks like a hoarder's paradise and my book as been sorrowfully neglected. Its hard to have a home of peace when everything is in chaos.

So we stopped. Everything. Well, almost everything. We are still following through with our commitments but we've cut out all of the extra running around, the added stress of lessons and clubs, the rush of the school-activity-dinner-activity-bed circuit we often run. We are being still ... and getting organized.

This morning, I took the kids to school and came home. I didn't run errands, meet a friend for coffee or go prep for one of the commitments on my calendar. I came home and before I even allowed myself one sip of The Precious, I completed three tasks off my Massive To Do list. When I crossed them off the list I did two more, just for kicks.

Picking up the dirty socks from the front entry or vacuuming the dog hair off the couch isn't going to change The World but it will change my world. Most of the time I get so focused on The Big Picture, on volunteering, advocating and planning for the future that I gloss right over the here and the now. I forget the importance of towels in the bathroom, of clean underwear in dressers and milk in the fridge. I get so focused on growing character that I lose sight of the fact that my kids are growing up. Too fast.

Life will return to our normal soon enough. Lessons and clubs will go on and I will be back to my regular schedule of mayhem but it will be balanced with the things my family needs me to do. Recently, I heard a very wise woman, an international speaker and a mom to three boys say, "It would be a real shame if while I'm out planting in your garden, foxes were running loose in mine." So true. What is the point of all of the things I do in the community for my kids if I am not taking care of them at home? Who cares if I show up for recitals and school meetings if I am not present with them in our own house?

So, we are regrouping. We are cleaning, sorting, organizing. We are resting, laughing, being. We are together. We Are.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.  Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.  ~Paul Pearshall

52 Weeks of Giving: Week 5

Love.

Joy.

Peace.

Patience.

Goodness.

Gentleness.

Meekness.

Self-Control.

Faithfulness.

About two days into our chaotic week I had an epiphany. Its called 'fruit' of the spirit for a reason. It takes a long time to grow.

You don't plant a seed and have a nice juicy apple the next day. You plant a seed and then you water it and water it and wait and water it some more. Days and days pass without any fruit action. Actually, it looks like nothing is happening for a very long time then one day, out of the blue something breaks through the ground. You have fruit!

No, you don't.  You have a wee sliver of green that looks nothing like the fruit of your dreams. Do you give up? Do you stop watering and caring for this, this thing that isn't even the thing you were hoping for? You could. It would be easy to walk away in a huff because all of your hard work and patience has yielded nothing more than a tiny shock of green.

But you could stick with it. You could keep watering, weeding and waiting. You could keep hoping for more growth, for the fruit you intended to grow to show up. If you did keep tending and waiting what you would see is more growth. Still not the juicy apple you planned on but eventually you would face the undeniable truth that something is growing.

Now to be fair, you will grow old while you water, nourish, protect and strength This Growing Thing but one day, years down the road your tiny shock of green will actually develop into a serious tree. Its not the apple you had hoped for but still, a tree isn't a bad pay off for a years of tending The Growing Thing.

But wait. This tree is flowering! Its a thing of beauty now and that's even better than a regular old tree. What's this? Those flowers have fallen away and now Some Other Growing Thing is on our tree. Its small and green and there's not just one; there's a thousand and one! That Some Other Growing Thing is fruit! Its the fruit of your dreams, except there's not just one little fruit for you, there's a whole tree full of sweet delicious fruit. Enough to share with everyone you meet!

And so it is with kids, my kids at least. I have planted the seeds of what I hope their lives will grow and even though I see no miraculous growth right now, I have to trust with a little watering, a little nourishing, a little protection and time that they will grow. Their lives will be a bounty of every good thing, enough to overflow and share.

With a little time.

With a little patience.

Week Five: Give Love!

Think of someone who is mean or irritating. Add them to your prayer list.

Matthew 5:44
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use and persecute you.



Let's Chat:

1.Can you think of one or two people that make life rough for you sometimes? How do you feel about them?
2. Why do you think Jesus put so much emphasis on loving people, even people who are unkind?
3.What are some practical ways you can 'do good' to those who are unkind?
4.Ask Jesus to help you see and love these people like He sees them. Ask Him to fill your heart with peace, your words with kindness as you go about your day.

Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long.
~Martin Luther King Jr.

52 Weeks of Giving: Week Four

Three weeks in and we have an 'incomplete.'

I knew we would have one of these weeks; who am I kidding, I knew we'd have more than one of these weeks! I just didn't think we'd have a fail just three weeks in. But we did. This week we failed to plan Dude's friendship party, we failed to give friendship.

Or did we?

We didn't have time to plan a friendship party because we were busy being friends. We had my friends' kids over for super a couple of times, we went out with friends, made cards, went out for coffee, had phone conversations, wrote letters and had playdates.  Our kids invited kids to sit with them at lunch, played with different kids at recess and made new friends at their weekly activities. None of these things were preplanned and non of them were written on my little index cards; they just happened.

In talking about friendship and serving one another our kids began to recognize opportunities to be a friend in their every day life. They followed their hearts and extended kindness without prompting or planning (or interference) from the adults in their world. They 'got it'  and did it, all on their own.

Another thing that happened in this Random House this week was a lot of fantastic conversation. Mr. Awesome and I have come to realize that the more we are intentional in teaching our kids things the more they become intentional in their learning. We have been asked fabulous questions about our faith, politics, the economy, developing countries, relationships and Middle Earth - seriously, the Middle Earth conversation was intense!

Our kids have become hungry for knowledge and understanding and in their hunger they have challenged us to have answers and not 'because I said so' answers. They want the truth, they want real, honest to goodness explanations to the things they see in their world. And when they get their answers they do the most marvellous thing ... they apply this new understanding to their lives!

Now, they're kids so there is a lot of repetition and 'doing better next time' happening but just the same, they are asking, learning and growing and that's all we can ask of them!

Now, we will complete Week Three's challenge at some point, only because Dude is looking forward to having some pals over but for now, I'm changing my mind and calling this week of giving a success!

Week Four: Be Fruity!

This week make a tree and add a piece of fruit for each virtue listed in Galatians 5:22 - 23. Then think of one way you can live each virtue this week.

Galatians 5:22 - 23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control... 

Let's Chat:

1. Read Galatians 5:22 - 23 and write down the meaning of each virtue. 
2. Why do you think these nine things are so important?
3.What does peace, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness look like in a friendship?
4.Choose one virtue to grow in your life. Think of one or two habits you can adopt to help this virtue grow in you.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.  ~David Star Jordan

52 Weeks of Giving: Week Three

Prayer.

That was our challenge last week. We asked our kids to make a short list of people they wanted to pray for and it was so interesting to see how each of their unique quirky personalities processed this challenge. Before I dive into how this week went, though, I want to answer the question I was asked most this week ... especially from people who don't share the same faith views as I do.

Why prayer?

Growing up in a Christian home, attending a Christian school and being at church pretty much any time the doors were open I began familiar with the language of prayer. I recognized prayer as part of our faith but as I matured I often chaffed at the mention of prayer and struggled to stifle my yawns during designated prayer times. Prayer was boring, lifeless and, from what I could see, useless. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen if I said a few words in prayer or not, so what's the point. Right?

Wrong.

During the last year I have rediscovered the importance of prayer. Or meditation. Or sending happy thoughts. I felt felt the power of good vibes sent my way and I have depended on the borrowed strength of well wishers. I don't believe prayer is about saying the right scripted words in a designated holy space and a designated holy time. To me, prayer is about two things; its about seeing the needs of others and surrendering control.

And that's why we challenged our kids to pray.

We wanted them to think about the people in their world. We wanted them to recognize that we all have needs, struggles and sadness. We also wanted them to see the goodness in their lives; we wanted them to identify the blessing that friendship is. In making a list of people to pray for, it forced our kids (and ourselves) to really think about the individuals we encounter every day and the struggles they may be facing and that in turn, increased our empathy and awareness.

Once we became aware we then needed to acknowledge our lack of control. We can't bend the world to our will, all we can do is offer support, good wishes and hope. Offer and let it go. Once we surrender that which we have recognized we are free to be filled with peace. The burden is not ours to carry because we have no power in and of ourselves to make anything happen. Its up to God. Or fate. Or the universe. No matter what you believe or who you believe in, the truth is still the same .. its SO not up to you to fix or control.

So we see the people in our world, we recognize their needs and then we surrender control. That's it. That's all we can do ... to start. Sometimes in taking the time to pray for others we also see where we can help. This happened for our kids. Like I said, all three of our kids approached this challenge from their own unique perspectives and they each had their own experiences of growth and understanding.

Dude sat for a good long while and thought about the people he sees regularly and what their needs might be and then he chose the top five people he felt were most in need. He prayed for those five people every night. He was very spock-like in his approach to this task, very logical and unemotional. Mischief prayed for everyone and I mean EVERYONE he came into contact with each day. His list changed everyday. His great big caring heart didn't want to leave anyone out so his prayers sounded a lot like roll call.

Crafty, surprisingly, had the toughest time with this one. She wanted to know why prayer, why out loud, what's supposed to happen, what's the point. I had many in depth and interesting conversations with her over the course of the week about prayer, faith, God and relationships. She challenged me on every point, not out of defiance but out of a desire to fully understand. She's never been one to buy into the 'because I said so' thing. I love that about her.

It took her several days but she finally made her list. It was a short list, just three kids. Two girls from school whose families are falling apart and one boy who is bullied on a daily basis. Her prayers were as short as her list. She just closed her eyes and said each f their names. That's it. But I can tell you I have never heard a more powerful or heart felt prayer in my life. She understood, she saw and she surrendered.

That's why prayer.

Week Three: Give Friendship


Dude, its your week to party! Plan a casual friendship party. Invite a few people you would like to be friends with or who need a friend like you. Crafty and Mischief you are the party helpers. You will help your brother get ready for the party, serve during it and clean up afterwards. This is a team effort!


Luke 10: 42
Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her

Let's Chat:

1. Read Luke 10:37 -42. Does this seem fair? 
2. Why do you think Jesus said that Mary was doing the right thing when clearly Martha was doing all the work?
3.What were the attitudes of Mary and Martha? How could they reverse their attitudes (Mary grumbling and Martha being happy)? What would that look like?
4. Choose your attitude for this task. Decide to look past what may seem fair or not and choose to do your best. You never know what the future holds!

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.  ~Mother Teresa

52 Weeks of Giving: Week Two

Peace.

That was the challenge for last week and boy was it a challenge! You'd think in this season of good cheer and hope that living a week as an intentional peace maker would be a breeze. You'd think the kids would be nothing but peaceful when they were showered with gifts and sweets for seven days straight.

You'd think. But no.

Living peace at Christmas was tough. Family commitments, crowded houses, tight time lines, lots of sugar and little sleep made an already unnatural concept seem completely unattainable. By Boxing Day (December 26) we were totally undone and Mr. Awesome and I realized that we needed to regroup - desperately - so we hunkered down in my parents' guest bedroom and had a family meeting.

We discussed the meaning of peace and why discord can so easily sneak into our relationships. We explained to the kids that Jesus promised to leave us peace because He knew that life has the tendency to be anything but peaceful. They seemed to 'get it' and I was optimistic ... for about 37 seconds. That's how long it took them to walk from the bedroom to the family room and start arguing again.

This time it didn't take a thirty minute conversation to quell the flames of irritation. This time all I did was walk into the room and ask, "Are you going to choose to be a peace maker or a peace stealer?" Immediately Mischief piped up, "A maker!" and the other two reluctantly agreed.

There were many more moments of chaos and stress during the week but having the term 'peace maker' become part of our family vocabulary made it easier to work through squabbles. With all of us understanding the meaning and importance of peace and the offer of Godly help to find peace, we were all on the same page and well ... that's a start at least.

Personally, studying peace this past week has been a much needed tune up. I have felt out of control and angry for weeks but the more I focused on the meaning of peace the more my anger, discontent and frustration melted away. The more I opened my heart to goodness, the more goodness I saw.

We're not done with peace. We are going to continue to pursue it but to our pursuit of a life of peace we are going to add this week's challenge ...

Week Two: Be Prayerful

Make a list of people you can pray for, people beyond just our family ... you can list people you know or people in far away places that might need prayer. Put the list in your bedroom and remember to pray for them each day.


1 Timothy 2:1 
I urge you then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.

Let's Chat:

1. What does 'petition'  and  'intercession'  mean? 
2. Why do we need to pray for people and be thankful for them?
3. Can you think of a time when praying helped you?
4. Make a list of a few people to pray for, you can add to the list later if more people come to mind.



The greatest gift we can give to others is our prayers.
--unknown

52 Weeks of Giving: Week One

So it started with this ...

I stumbled across that video while I was looking for something Christmasy to show my Sunday School class. About 10 seconds into the video I was all in. This 'conspiracy' resonated with me so deeply, it was exactly along the lines of conversations Mr. Awesome and I were having about our family and the values we were imparting.

That night Mr. Awesome and I decided to do 24 Days of Giving. Instead of giving our kids advent calendars with treats or toys we gave them a calendar that had daily challenges to give. Some things were as easy (or as difficult) as an attitude adjustment, like the days the kids were asked to give their attention or cooperation. Other days had the kids doing random acts of service or blessing like handing out candy canes to friends and teachers or choosing one chore to do well without being asked. Still others were giving something tangible to those in need, like taking groceries to the food bank or donating winter wear to a shelter. Each day we challenged our kids (and ourselves) to remember what this season is really about. Each day we challenged our kids to look beyond themselves.

Honestly, it was a slow start. They missed their Lego and chocolates but within a few days they began to look forward to their new challenge. They loved finding ways to help others and they loved telling us about how they executed their advent each day.

That's when Mr. Awesome and I decided to kick this up a notch.

We support the ideals and the campaigns of Free the Children and we are trying to shift our family's focus from Me to We. We feel very strongly that the answer to less bullying, less teen depression and less societal angst is not a bunch of 'anti' campaigns but a shift of focus, a return to a village mentality. We feel that if we empower our children (and ourselves) to recognize a need and to fill it where they are with what they have they will develop a healthy sense of self and their place in the Bigger Picture. It was with all this in mind that we decided to give our children less this Christmas so that we could give them more.

We intentionally spent much less on gifts this year so we could plan to support them as they step into a year of giving, 52 Weeks of Giving, to be exact. We came up with 52 different challenges that we will be tackling this year as a family. Each Sunday we will open another challenge and work together to complete it. And just like our advent, some tasks are a change of heart, some are small acts of kindness and others are huge things that we're going to need help to pull off.

And now, I invite you to join this conspiracy. Join us as we change the world, change ourselves with one deliberate choice of kindness each week.

Each Monday I will give a recap of how our previous week's challenge went and give you the challenge for the coming week. For those who are interested, I will also include the Bible verse for the week that ties into the challenge and a couple of discussion questions about the theme. If you choose to participate in one during the year, one a month or each one with us please let me know. Let me know how its going and how its changing your family's world view.

I am excited for this year, for the lessons we'll learn as a family and for the changes and growth that will happen in each one of us. Follow me on Instagram to track our progress and don't forget to leave comments here, too!  Let's change our world with kindness!

Week One: Give Peace.

This week walk away. Walk away from arguments, walk away from meanness. Compromise. Don't get mad, don't get even. Be a maker of peace.

John 13:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hears be troubled and do not be afraid.

Let's Chat:

1. What does 'peace' mean? What does it look like or feel like?
2. Why is it so hard to walk away? Why do we always feel like we have to prove that we're right?
3. What is the opposite of peace? How do you feel when you're not peaceful?
4. How can we make peace? Make a list of 5 intentional ways you can be a bringer of peace this week.

If we have no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
~Mother Teresa