Christine's Code

I intentionally did not write about New Year's resolutions at the beginning of the month. Its easy to be full of optimism and dedication on January 1 but by the middle of the month focus wanes and will power fades and whatever well intentioned resolutions were made have now gone the way of the dinosaur. I think this happens because a lot of people make surface commitments like to lose weight, quit smoking or live healthier without looking deeper. Why are you unhealthy, unfit and discontent?

I have a pal who has sorted some of this out. Her name is Christine Son and she is a talented writer, a witty word smith and all around stellar person. Here are some of her thoughts for the new year ...

 This year, I decided to craft resolutions which weren’t so much resolutions, but a code of standards by which I want to live my life. Because I may not be able to control the economy, or the job market, or the sometimes inexplicable behavior of those around me, but I can control how I think, what I believe, how I will comport myself in the face of ever-changing circumstances. Most of these resolutions are not new. They’re just so blindingly obvious that we tend to overlook them entirely.



Resolution #1: I will remember always that I am an exquisite creature, fearfully and wonderfully and perfectly made. I will remind myself of this when life would make me feel less than. And especially when people would.



Resolution #2: I will live boldly. Without fear of failure or discouragement from a bunch of “no”s. Because all “no”s eventually become “yes” if we dare to dream, work and believe.



Resolution #3: I will love boldly. Because life is too short, and too very precious, to squander on trepidation.


Resolution #4: I will live fully in the present. For the past was meant to bless and teach and be left behind. And the future is a treasure still percolating. But the present is a perfect gift if we should open our eyes to see, and open our hearts to feel.



Resolution #5: I will rejoice and be glad and give thanks always.


Resolution #6: I will hug those I love a beat longer. And I won’t think twice on walking out on those who suck.

Resolution #7: I will never apologize for, nor downplay, my intelligence. It is my very best feature, after all.



Resolution #8: I will not apologize for, nor seek to diminish, my huge heart. Because I can’t remember the last time I thought, “Man, you know what the world needs more of? Heartless bitches.”


Resolution #9: I will not dim my light so that others can shine brighter, nor will I lower my standards so that more can meet them. But if there are those who would like to be where I am, I will do everything I can to help them get there.


Resolution #10: I will listen closely to my massive brain. But I will ultimately go where my heart leads. Because I have never been concussed, but I have not always liked my decisions. And my heart has known brokenness, but I have never regretted following it.

That's ten of the twelve resolutions. I encourage you to check out Christine's original post on her blog Christine's Thinkings, where she goes into more detail about what has motivated her and inspired her to live these twelve truths.

Hope this little post gives you the mid-month boost you need to keep living the life you were meant to be and to keep growing into the person you know you are.

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe

Guest Blogger - Rachel Elizabeth Cole

Welcome to Part Two of Couponing is a Verb by Rachel Elizabeth Cole. Rachel has been a writing pal of mine for ages but her coupon savvy ways were news to me until recently ... I have learned much from this Jedi-Coupon Goddess and I hope you do too! Be sure to check out Rachel's Website, too!


I’m sure you’ve seen that show. You know, the one with the crazy coupon ladies who get thousands of dollars worth of stuff for under a hundred bucks? Yup, I’ve seen it too. I bet, like me, your first thought was, “Only in America.” But then I got to wondering, “Can we use coupons like that in Canada?” Well, after a bit of Googling and reading up on the subject, it turns out my gut instinct was right. You can’t. But by using coupons, you can still get some significant savings on your monthly grocery bill. Anywhere in the 25-30% range is typical. I don’t know about you, but at my house that works out to about $150 a month. That’s $1800 a year!

So how do you Extreme Coupon Canadian style?

1. I know it’s obvious, but collect coupons. Lots and lots of coupons. Coupons can be found pretty much everywhere. They come in the newspaper or mail, can be found hanging on tear pads in stores, can be requested directly from the company, they can even be ordered online or printed off with your computer. If you live in an area with curbside recycling, take a walk on recycling day and collect all the coupon inserts people have thrown out in their recycle bins. In my neighbourhood just last week, I found over 20 coupon inserts!

2. Ask your friends to save coupons for you or allow you to order coupons with their address. Make friends with other couponers and trade coupons.

3. Learn what the wording on coupon means. As an example, for years I thought “Limit one coupon per purchase” meant one coupon per shopping trip. But really it means one coupon per ITEM! So if you have four coupons (or ten!), feel free to buy four (or ten!) items! “One coupon per customer” means you’re only allowed one coupon per shopping trip. But most cashiers will just do two transactions for you, saving you a second (and third and fourth…) trip back into the store.

4. Get a copy of each store’s coupon policy and keep it with you. Learn what each store allows and doesn’t allow. For instance, some stores in Western Canada permit stacking (the use of more than one coupon per item). Some stores permit their own store coupons to be used along with manufacturer coupons. And some stores allow overages (the use of coupons with a higher value than the item being purchased).

5. Read all the weekly flyers, not just your usual stores, and take advantage of the best sale prices.

6. Learn to price match at stores that have a better coupon policy and save your gas.

7. Use your coupons on items that are not only on sale, but on clearance.

8. If an item is sold out, get a rain check. When the store restocks, you’ll get the item at the sale price!

9. Forget brand loyalty. So Tide has been your favourite laundry detergent forever? Well, it won’t be for long when you discover you can get other brands (that work just as well) for free or nearly free.

10. Stock up. This really is the secret to using coupons. Don’t just buy what you need as you need it. Think ahead. How much soup or cereal or pasta does your family eat in a year? What about laundry soap or toothpaste or dish soap? Buying now when something is on sale and using coupons will save you money in the long run.

For more information on couponing in Canada visit: Smart Canucks

Happy couponing!

Guest Blogger - Nelson Camp

Here's another one from my pal, Nelson. Today he has switched hats from dad to educator but he is just as compassionate, engaged and present with his students as he is with his family. As you'll see Nelson has a passion to see youth supported, nurtured and given the tools they need to succeed in life, he is committed to effecting change and seeing success measured in more meaningful ways.

Making a difference … one life at a time


“I hate myself… I hate my body”. “It makes me feel better when I bleed”. “I don’t want to do anything unless I’m high”. “I feel so alone… nobody even cares if I exist… I am so invisible”.

These are the things that I hear each and every day in my office. These are the teens that come to see me for help because they don’t know where else to go. These are the young people that have no one else to talk to that will accept them for who they are rather than judge them and give them a long-winded speech about who they should be. This is my day as a high-school counsellor.

I have seen so many of our youth struggling with emotional difficulties and challenges that they are not equipped to handle. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that schools do an outstanding job at focusing on inclusion and adapting teaching methods to the specific learning needs of our classrooms. However, there is also a deafening cry for help that goes unheard to address the emotional needs of our young people. The challenge? It is near impossible to quantitatively evaluate the success of therapeutic interventions with teens. How can you give someone a mark on how well they have learnt to manage their emotions? How can you test someone on their improved self-esteem? Society demands to see an A or 85% on report cards, rather than a comment related to “Student has learned positive techniques to handle anxiety”. No university or college will consider this a pre-requisite for admittance. The focus of schools is, and always has been, on the three Rs: Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic.

I propose that we need to see a paradigm shift in education where greater importance is put on helping students learn life-skills and coping skills integrated within the curriculum of other subjects. How about a language arts class that studies short skits about real-life situations where students are faced with challenges of drug use, empathy, conflict resolution or managing emotions? How about a class where students are encouraged to discuss how Macbeth could have changed his behaviour to avoid the story ending in a tragedy? This does not at all eliminate the importance of studying the grammar and form of the language.

Although I am a counsellor, I long to see the day where there is less need for counsellors in schools, and “success” is based the evolution of the whole person, and not only on the academic achievements of students.

About the author:


Having worked in education for over 15 years, Nelson Camp has had the opportunity to help children from kindergarten to grade 12 as well as adults. He completed his Master’s degree in Education, specializing in Dramatherapy, while studying at the University of Regina, Université Laval and the College universitaire de St Boniface. He is also the CEO of N-Gage Solutions, a company that publishes therapeutic skits and plays to help students learn positive and adaptive skills. These abilities can be taught and learnt through the safe and non-intrusive methods of drama and theater. For more information on resources and publications, please contact n-gagesolutions@live.caor visit the soon to be published website of www.n-gagesolutions.ca (Coming September 2011)

Guest Blogger - John Elder Robison

John Elder Robison is another pal I met online, in a writer's group. His writing and psydo-friendship has been inspirational and encouraging as we have walked this Aspergian journey with Dude. John is from the same place as Dude and I'm not sure but I think John may be king of Asperger Planet! At any rate, he is funny, insightful and full of good, old fashioned common sense. I love reading John's words and I hope you do too!

This post is one I stole, with permission (John is neck deep in writing his third book so he told me to help myself to his blog), from John's blog Look Me In The Eye ... be sure to have a look at his blog and pick up his books, Look Me in the Eye and Be Different.


A blind guy and an Aspergian walk into a bar and each one picks up a telephone.


That sounds like some kind of joke, but it’s not. I actually credit the insight for this story to Paul Van Dyck, a well known radio personality in Portland, Oregon. Paul happens to be blind, and we had a fascinating talk about our respective conditions.

What do Asperger’s and blindness have in common?

Both conditions leave us unable to read body language or visual cues in others. We can’t instinctively read faces, like sighted nypicals (I know, that sounds like some kind of bird. For the rest of this little story I’ll say nypical but I mean sighted nypical. Blind nypicals aren’t nypical anymore. They’re blind) To succeed in life, Aspergians and blind people need to develop other skills to compensate. And some of those skills become very apparent . . . you guessed it . . . on the phone.

When we speak on the phone, all we have to work with is the spoken words and the melody of the voice coming through the phone. For nypicals, sight is the brain’s top priority when engaging other people. Much of their brainpower is focused on the other person’s face and occasionally their body, to divine those important unspoken messages.

Blind people and Aspergians can’t do that instinctively. Aspergians can only do it with conscious effort and practice, and blind people can’t really do it at all. But we can do something else – we can pay very careful attention to the words and inflection of people who speak to us. Since we’re not tying up brainpower reading nonverbal cues, we are free to deploy those resources to analyze speech. And we do it well.

When I spoke with Paul, I was struck by the clarity and precision of speech, and the way he immediately “got” what I said. In the middle of our conversation, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that telephone conversation is a place that both of us can really develop a competitive advantage in life. In face to face meetings, we’re disadvantaged because we don’t see what’s obvious to most nypicals. But on the phone, the tables are turned. We’ve compensated for part of our disability by increasing our ability to process and interpret spoken words, and when sight is taken out of the picture . . . voila! We’re on top.

There have been many times that I've done a phone interview and the other person says, "You sound so good on the phone . . . I can't believe you have trouble connecting to people in person." It took a conversation with a blind man to show me the answer to that.

Guest Blogger - Cat Connor

I 'met' Cat Connor ages ago through an online writer's group we both belong to. I love her wit, her humour, her huge heart and creepy dark side; nobody wracks up the literary body count the way Cat does! I have reviewed Cat's books here before but if you want more of Cat (and really, who doesn't?) be sure to check out her blog I See You  and if you are looking for a great summer read or two check out her 'Byte books(Killerbyte, Terrorbyte and Exacerbyte) featuring FBI agent Ellie Conway.

Kia ora,


Every bugger can say hello or howdy… but only New Zealander’s say kia ora.

That was your first clue as to where I’m from! (I’m so sneaky.)

Anyway, I’m Cat Connor mother of millions – okay 7 but some days it truly feels like millions, and thriller author. I lurk around this blog, reading, giggling and enjoying the thoughts of my awesome friend Some Random Mother. Which meant when I was asked to guest post, I jumped at the chance.

My work day is slotted around our youngest kids Squealer, 12 and Breezy, 5. The Boy Wonder features too, he’ll be 20 by the time you read this. He lives at home and works full time. This is his gap year. The Boy Wonder is also a God send when it comes to his little sisters. (Babysitter extraordinaire) And then there is the husband, Action Man. (I am fully surrounded by super heroes, it’s as it should be.)

Parenting down here at the bottom of the world is not much different to parenting up there where you are. If it wasn’t for the internet, I think I would’ve lost the plot years ago. You see, without the internet I would never have ‘met’ other parents with interesting kids. Interesting is our code word for Squealer’s specialness. She has ADD, Generalized Anxiety disorder – yes, she was born with it. Sensory Processing disorder and ASD traits. Which all confused people for years because everything combined LOOKS like Aspergers, but it isn’t, only some of it is. She also has several medical conditions, which means she can’t do stuff like other kids. All this makes it quite difficult for Squealer at times.

With our other kids, if I said green milk came from green cows they would laugh. Squealer, well, she squeals hysterically, about how that’s not true. Her world is not like ours.

Recently, we adopted a Greyhound, from Greyhounds as Pets here in New Zealand. Romeo has bought a level of calm to Squealer that she lacked. But more than that, he trusts her and she is able to walk him. Seriously, it’s like walking a horse… our boy is TALL. Squealer is good with horses. (She has an affinity with large animals.) Her confidence is improving, her self esteem is improving. When we got Romeo, Irene at the GAP kennels told me he was a Jesus dog, because he was so perfect and that he was without a doubt the dog for us. We think she was right. Everyone who meets him loves him.

So, now I’m a mother, wife, author, and Greyhound pack leader – life is awesome!

Guest Blogger - Nelson Camp

Nelson Camp is a pal I met a few years ago when we both, along with our spouses, volunteered in our church's creative events department. I had the pleasure of directing Nelson in a couple of skits and brainstorming with him and his wife on many scripts. From the start I was impressed by Nelson's calm presence, his ability to see the logical course in nearly any situation and his compassionate nature. It has been a pleasure to watch Nelson move from being husband/teacher/care free guy into being a hands-on, totally sold out and engaged dad. Here are a few of Nelson's thoughts on his changing role ... enjoy!

A Dad's Role
As I look through the closet, I see the dreaded Tupperware container that is dedicated to the family hats – tuques, ball caps, bandanas, wide brims, and visors – something for any kind of weather we may get. I say “dreaded” because it is so full of hats that it’s always a challenge to go through it and find the exact hat you are looking for – there must be at least 30 or 40.

There are days when I feel the same “dread” when looking at the different hats that I have to wear as a man. The hat of a husband, a father, an employee, an entrepreneur, a landlord, a friend, a son, a sibling, a neighbour….There are so many hats to wear in a single day that I sometimes find myself wearing the wrong hat in the wrong situation. For all the wonderful changes that have taken place to women and the roles they play in society, it is important not to forget that a man’s role has also changed as a direct consequence. Men are no longer seen as simply being the provider and protector of the household; we need to be able to cook, wield a broom or mop, be adept at serving a bottle to a baby, being a comforter to our spouse, while still being able to cut the lawn, take out the trash and coach the little league team.

More and more, we are seeing men take paternal leaves to care for children and even being a “stay at home dad” in some cases. The cliché James Dean macho role that was status quo for so many decades has gone the way of the dinosaurs as men learn to take on more responsibilities at home in raising children and tending to domestic responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hold any animosity towards vacuuming or washing the dishes, but sometimes, adding all these duties to a full-time career fills a 24 hour day with a 40 hour to-do list.

Although I haven’t yet figured out all the intricacies of scheduling a day where I can be the perfect husband, dad, and professional all in one, I have discovered how important it is to stick to the priorities; putting first things first, and leaving the details aside. At the end of the day, when I tuck my kids into bed and kiss my wife good night, I know that I did my best to make these precious gifts the most important part of my day.

Now, off to prepare tomorrow’s supper in the slow cooker….

Guest Blogger - Rachel Elizabeth Cole

 Rachel Elizabeth Cole and I bonded at our online writer's group over our mutual Canadianness. She is a writer, a mom, a wife and rabbit submissive. More than all that she is funny, talented and a real pal. I hope you enjoy reading a little 'Rachel' ... I always do! If you want more rachel check out her Website!

I admit it. I’m addicted to using coupons. I didn’t use to be this way. Sure, I thought I was a savvy shopper: never buying items at regular price, buying in bulk, waiting for the best sales, etc. Then I discovered couponing. (Yes, coupon has become a verb.) Now I wouldn’t dream of paying even the lowest sale price without using a coupon. $1.50 cereal? .99¢ laundry soap? .50¢ deodorant? .09¢ soup? Free toothpaste? You betcha!


I’ll be honest, couponing isn’t easy. You have to find the coupons. And where I live there are a lot of other couponers, so that can be a challenge. Tear pads at grocery stores disappear within hours of going up. Flyer inserts never make it to your front door. And as couponing becomes more popular across the country, online coupons disappear just as quickly. Shelves get cleared. Clearance items vanish.

So I find myself waking up early on recycling days to walk my neighbourhood, looking for coupon inserts and cereal boxes with coupons inside before the recycling truck can come take them away. (Or worse yet, another couponer gets there first!) I plan my shopping trips around the days when the sales start. I shop at three different stores instead of just one. And I carry my coupon folder, flyers, and shopping lists with me everywhere. After all, you never know when or where you’ll find that next deal.

I’ve learned stores’ coupon policies, how to understand the small print on the coupons, and what terms like SCOP, rain check, price match, overage, and stacking mean. I’ve made friends with other couponers and started trading coupons.

I’ve also learned to ignore the people who sigh loudly and switch lines when they see me pull out the coupons. Or the ones who whisper a little too loudly, “It’s just like that show.” (You know the show I’m talking about.) And what to do when a cashier says, “I’m sorry, this coupon says one per purchase.”

So why do I go to all the effort? Well, the first reason is obvious: the savings. Grocery prices are going up and are expected to keep going up. I’ve only been couponing a few months, but I’ve already seen 25-30% savings to my monthly grocery bill. And in the months to come, when I don’t have to buy laundry soap, dish soap, toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, cereal, soup, pasta, etc. I expect to save even more.

But then there are those moments that really make it worthwhile. The look on the face of the frazzled young mom standing in the baby aisle after you’ve handed her a $5 off coupon. The sincere “thank you” from the little old lady picking through the discount bread rack after you’ve given her a Buy One Get One Free coupon.

That really makes it worth the effort.

 Be sure to check back next Thursday for part two of Rachel's couponing adventures where she'll teach us her sacred, secret ways of Canadian couponing!