Guest Blogger - Nelson Camp

Nelson Camp is a pal I met a few years ago when we both, along with our spouses, volunteered in our church's creative events department. I had the pleasure of directing Nelson in a couple of skits and brainstorming with him and his wife on many scripts. From the start I was impressed by Nelson's calm presence, his ability to see the logical course in nearly any situation and his compassionate nature. It has been a pleasure to watch Nelson move from being husband/teacher/care free guy into being a hands-on, totally sold out and engaged dad. Here are a few of Nelson's thoughts on his changing role ... enjoy!

A Dad's Role
As I look through the closet, I see the dreaded Tupperware container that is dedicated to the family hats – tuques, ball caps, bandanas, wide brims, and visors – something for any kind of weather we may get. I say “dreaded” because it is so full of hats that it’s always a challenge to go through it and find the exact hat you are looking for – there must be at least 30 or 40.

There are days when I feel the same “dread” when looking at the different hats that I have to wear as a man. The hat of a husband, a father, an employee, an entrepreneur, a landlord, a friend, a son, a sibling, a neighbour….There are so many hats to wear in a single day that I sometimes find myself wearing the wrong hat in the wrong situation. For all the wonderful changes that have taken place to women and the roles they play in society, it is important not to forget that a man’s role has also changed as a direct consequence. Men are no longer seen as simply being the provider and protector of the household; we need to be able to cook, wield a broom or mop, be adept at serving a bottle to a baby, being a comforter to our spouse, while still being able to cut the lawn, take out the trash and coach the little league team.

More and more, we are seeing men take paternal leaves to care for children and even being a “stay at home dad” in some cases. The cliché James Dean macho role that was status quo for so many decades has gone the way of the dinosaurs as men learn to take on more responsibilities at home in raising children and tending to domestic responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hold any animosity towards vacuuming or washing the dishes, but sometimes, adding all these duties to a full-time career fills a 24 hour day with a 40 hour to-do list.

Although I haven’t yet figured out all the intricacies of scheduling a day where I can be the perfect husband, dad, and professional all in one, I have discovered how important it is to stick to the priorities; putting first things first, and leaving the details aside. At the end of the day, when I tuck my kids into bed and kiss my wife good night, I know that I did my best to make these precious gifts the most important part of my day.

Now, off to prepare tomorrow’s supper in the slow cooker….

Guest Blogger - Rachel Elizabeth Cole

 Rachel Elizabeth Cole and I bonded at our online writer's group over our mutual Canadianness. She is a writer, a mom, a wife and rabbit submissive. More than all that she is funny, talented and a real pal. I hope you enjoy reading a little 'Rachel' ... I always do! If you want more rachel check out her Website!

I admit it. I’m addicted to using coupons. I didn’t use to be this way. Sure, I thought I was a savvy shopper: never buying items at regular price, buying in bulk, waiting for the best sales, etc. Then I discovered couponing. (Yes, coupon has become a verb.) Now I wouldn’t dream of paying even the lowest sale price without using a coupon. $1.50 cereal? .99¢ laundry soap? .50¢ deodorant? .09¢ soup? Free toothpaste? You betcha!


I’ll be honest, couponing isn’t easy. You have to find the coupons. And where I live there are a lot of other couponers, so that can be a challenge. Tear pads at grocery stores disappear within hours of going up. Flyer inserts never make it to your front door. And as couponing becomes more popular across the country, online coupons disappear just as quickly. Shelves get cleared. Clearance items vanish.

So I find myself waking up early on recycling days to walk my neighbourhood, looking for coupon inserts and cereal boxes with coupons inside before the recycling truck can come take them away. (Or worse yet, another couponer gets there first!) I plan my shopping trips around the days when the sales start. I shop at three different stores instead of just one. And I carry my coupon folder, flyers, and shopping lists with me everywhere. After all, you never know when or where you’ll find that next deal.

I’ve learned stores’ coupon policies, how to understand the small print on the coupons, and what terms like SCOP, rain check, price match, overage, and stacking mean. I’ve made friends with other couponers and started trading coupons.

I’ve also learned to ignore the people who sigh loudly and switch lines when they see me pull out the coupons. Or the ones who whisper a little too loudly, “It’s just like that show.” (You know the show I’m talking about.) And what to do when a cashier says, “I’m sorry, this coupon says one per purchase.”

So why do I go to all the effort? Well, the first reason is obvious: the savings. Grocery prices are going up and are expected to keep going up. I’ve only been couponing a few months, but I’ve already seen 25-30% savings to my monthly grocery bill. And in the months to come, when I don’t have to buy laundry soap, dish soap, toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, cereal, soup, pasta, etc. I expect to save even more.

But then there are those moments that really make it worthwhile. The look on the face of the frazzled young mom standing in the baby aisle after you’ve handed her a $5 off coupon. The sincere “thank you” from the little old lady picking through the discount bread rack after you’ve given her a Buy One Get One Free coupon.

That really makes it worth the effort.

 Be sure to check back next Thursday for part two of Rachel's couponing adventures where she'll teach us her sacred, secret ways of Canadian couponing!

While Mother's Away...

Its halfway through the summer and I feel as though I am just starting to find my way back to myself. By the end of June I was fried. Although it was a really good school year and I really enjoyed the projects I had worked on, I was just done, finished, spent. I was done with teachers and meetings and planning but mostly I was done with thinking and caring. I had drained my emotional bank and I was so done. All I had left was a pulse and oatmeal brain ... not a lot to work with, really.

For the first couple weeks of Summer Break I indulged in lazy mornings, crossword puzzles and fluff TV. I did crafts with the kids, watched every Harry Potter movie there is and read four books just for fun. I intentionally did not read the newspapers, watch CNN or even read my regular blogs and parenting forums. Honestly, I knew that if I saw something, read something, that mattered I would have to care and at that point I didn't think I had it in me.

I checked out for three glorious weeks and although I needed the break my writing suffered for it. Regular readers of this blog may have noticed a distinct drop in passion and creativity in my writing for the last few weeks. As I read over my posts from earlier this month I was sad that my writing had become so sad and lifeless. I had already booked a couple of weeks of vacation but I had planned to prewrite for the period of time that I would be away but one look at those posts changed my mind. I need to step away so I can refresh and recharge properly.

Starting tomorrow I will be on vacation and you all will be in for a real treat. I have lined up some of the best and the brightest pals I know to guest blog for me while I get a little R & R with the family. My pals will be writing about who they are, what they are passionate about and life as they see it. I am so excited for this opportunity to show off that talents of some of the best people I know. So while I am hiding from the sun in a cabin full of relatives and animals please stop by and enjoy these little bits of word candy from Rachel, Cat, John and Nelson.

I hope you're enjoying your summer and I'll see you all back here on August 8th!

Great Reads for Kids - Summer Break Edition

Aside from our Smart Folders, this summer the kids have been given the chance to earn Book Bucks. They get one 'buck' for every 15 minutes they read and at the end of the summer they'll be able to cash in their book bucks for a gift card to Chapters.

They have each been busy reading and wracking up the 'bucks.' We have been combing through thrift stores, garage sales and our own shelves to find new favourites and old friends to help them earn their bucks. Here are some reviews of their favourites ...

By Mischief (for boys age 5 to 7 years old)

Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak)- This book is about this kid who dresses up like a kind of monster, wild thing guy. His name is Max. He scared the dog and got into a lot of mischief so he got in trouble from his mom. He gets sent to his room without any supper. When he was there his room turned into a jungle or something and there was this boat that sailed him away to where the wild things are. He gets to be king and stuff but then he misses his family so he goes home.

I like this book because it has lots of imagination and I know all the words. I even have a Max costume. The pictures are pretty good to.

Other favourites are:
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Corduroy by Don Freeman
I Can Read 'Spiderman' series by Susan Hill



By Dude (for boys age 9 to 12 years old)

100 Most Dangerous Things on the Planet (Anna Claybourne)- This book tells you about 100 of the most dangerous things on the planet. It tells you about volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, tornadoes, lightening storms too. There is also a lot of information about animals and bugs too. The book is in two parts; nature stuff and human stuff. It is very interesting because it also gives you good information on how to survive these very dangerous things.

Other favourites:
The Tales of Beedle the Bard by JK Rowling
Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
Knights of the Round Table by Gwen Gross


By Crafty (for girls age 7 to 10 years old)

Ivy and Bean (Annie Barrows and Sophie Blackwell) - These books are about two girls who become friends. They do lots of stuff to bug Bean's older sister, its kind of funny. They do stuff like play tricks on her with money and they also through worms at her. I like these books because Ivy and Bean are kind of like my best friend. These books are funny and interesting.

Other favourites:
Cam Jansen by David Alder
Magic Treehouse by Mary Pope Osbourne
Little Women by Lousia May Alcott
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstien


To read a book for the first time is to make an acquaintance with a new friend; to read it for a second time is to meet an old one.
~Chinese Saying

He Thought of Me: Revisited

Today I was scrolling through an old blog that I am archiving and shutting down. As I read through my writings of years passed I marvelled at how I have grown as a writer and a person. Most of the entries are heavy, serious and awkward but there are a few in the pile that were decent ... this is one of them. In fact, this post is among my favourites and its a message I need to remind myself of often ... No matter how messy my day is or how unkempt I feel, He still thinks of me!


Image is everything...so they say. Whoever ‘they’ are, they’re idiots.

‘They’ spend millions of dollars and countless hours trying to sell you on the idea that if you just bought this brand of yoga pants, this style of boots, this kind of hair product you will finally be satisfied, popular and happy. You would be a person of substance, a person to be valued. Not true. Its a scam, folks.

Growing up my parents always made sure we looked nice and had the things we needed. We weren’t deprived by any means but designer items rarely saw their way into our wardrobes. When I complained about the lack of labels in my closet my parents would remind me that what I wore didn’t matter as much as who I was. Then mom would rearrange some numbers in the budget and take me shopping.

She wasn’t sending mixed messages. She understood what it was like to be a teenage girl. The clothes don’t make the person but sometimes once we feel like we fit in its easier to take a stand for the things that are truly important. Sometimes when you blend in you are able to stand out.

What is important is that your inside life matches your outside life. Meaning you can dress yourself up all you want on the outside as long as you are spending the same amount of energy, time and effort dressing up your heart. Your heart is the substance of who you are.

Just as God spent time creating your body He spent time creating your heart, mind and soul. He thought about you, the person you would become. He dreamed of who you would be and planned for all the possibilities of who you could be. He planned for your talent, your humour and even your dorkiness. He planned for you to touch people’s lives, to make an impact in your world, to be an ambassador of His love.

He thought about you before the creation of the world, He thought about you as you were forming inside your mother and He thinks about you still. He knows the truth of who you are, the substance of your being and He sees you. And He loves you still. He loves you more.

God sees your substance. He knows that there is so much more to you than the house you live in, the brands you wear and how you style your hair. He knows the true value is not measured by what you have but who you are on the inside. What a relief!



Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
~Psalm 139:16-18

Slow Ease into Summer

As I have been lamenting, complaining and bemoaning the heat wave in our part of the country something funny has been happening in our house and those of you who have loved ones from Planet Aspergers will totally get this.

Dude has always had issues with seasonal transitions. When he was wee dressing to go outside in the winter took an hour long negotiation that usually resulted in a WWE wrestling event. His meltdowns got so bad when he was about 5 years old that we looked into moving to a different part of the country that did not experience the same temperature extremes that the prairie provinces do; we were at our wits end and ready to do anything to make life easier!

We stuck it out and as he has matured the transitions between seasons has gone a little more smoothly. We have learned a few tricks along the way that have helped too. For instance, a few years ago I started shuffling his wardrobe as per the season. Anything that was not seasonally appropriate is moved to the top shelves of his closet, far out of reach and we also starting leaving his bedroom window open in the Spring and fall so he could feel the temperature change. Although it took him longer than most kids to move into shorts and t-shirts, he usually got there before the end of June.

Not this year.

Even though the temperatures this week have been in the high 30C range, my Dude is still wearing jeans and long sleeve shirts everyday. No matter how much I remind/nag him about dressing for the temperature he emerges from his room, day after day, ready for the first snowfall of the year. For the first week or so of Summer Break I fought with him to change his clothes but this week I changed my strategy. I have let him be, thinking that once he gets outside and feels the full force of the 30C heat he'll come inside to change. No dice.

This kid rides his bike, has NERF wars and wrestles with the dog in jeans, socks, runners and long sleeve shirts, not to mention his shoulder length ultra thick hair, everyday! While I am hiding in the shade, wearing as little as decency will allow, he is frolicking in the sunshine, dressed for mid October rather than mid July! I just don't get it!

So last night as I was tucking Dude in he commented on how hot it was. Laying there on his bed with him, staring at his closet full of neatly folded t-shirts and shorts, I launched into another conversation about summer clothes. We talked back and forth for a while until I started to get chilly ... then it hit me.

"Dude, when you get dressed in the morning, how do you feel?"

"I feel good."

"I mean are you hot, cold or comfortable?"

"Usually cold."

"And what clothes do you reach for?"

"The warmer ones on the shelf."

"Aren't they too hard to reach?" I asked looking at all the jeans, shirts and sweaters on his top shelf.

He got out of bed, stood beside his closet and easily out his hand on the top of a pile of sweaters, "Nope."

So we took a few minutes to devise a basement-dwelling-tall-kid friendly plan for easy summer dressing. We covered up the winter weight clothes and made them off limits, made a shorts only rule and committed to checking the weather every night before bed to make sure our plan was still appropriate.

 Welcome to Planet Aspergers Lesson #1374.

I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. ~Gilda Radner

The Worst Place on Earth

Once again the temperature today has made all outdoor activity unbearable. I went to the grocery store this morning and thought seriously about setting up a lawn chair in the freezer section and waiting out the summer there. Its cool, clean and it has an abundance of ice cream; what more could a person want?

I am so not a summer person. I hate the heat, I get wicked sunburns, even through shade umbrellas and hats and there is no worse place on this planet than the beach. Its sun and sand and bugs. You have to slather yourself with sunblock and then the wind picks up a bit and suddenly you are stuccoed with sand. The water always looks dodgy, the bathrooms are primitive and there are far too many people wearing far too little fabric for my liking. There is not one thing I like about the beach, nope not one!

...

...

...

Well, okay ... there's one thing I like about the beach. I like that my kids are fearless water babies. I like that they can play and swim and use their imaginations for hours. I like that they all turn honey brown, from head to toe, after a day at the beach. I also love the fantastic pictures I take of them every summer as they ride the waves and hunt the sharks of their imaginations.

Here are a few of my favourite pictures of my beaching wee ones from over the years.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~Russel Baker