The Start of Change

Today was the last day of school and the first day of our Random Acts of Service Challenge. This summer we have decided to do more than tan and beach and bonfire, this summer we are purposefully setting out to commit Random Acts of Service.

Mr. Awesome and I feel that it is very important to teach our kids to not only be empathetic but to act on that empathy. It is very easy to see a homeless person or a commercial about sick and starving children and think that its too bad but that it's not your problem. We want our kids to understand that because we are all here on this planet together that we are all connected. So the problem of the sick child in Africa is the problem of the homeless man downtown is the problem of us in suburban Canada. We are all connected so we must bear the burden and we must all work to find a solution.

It was with this in mind that we, as a family, started brainstorming about how we, in our safe little home, could be part of the solution. At first we didn't have a real idea of what we were going to do or achieve but bit by bit things started to come together. I'm still not sure of some of the details but I know we are on the right track. The kids are excited about the organisations they have chosen to raise money for and they can't wait to get started.

Next week they will share, in their own words, what charities they have chosen and why but for now I would like you to watch this video clip. Its a ballad of Western world woes (she says tongue in cheek).

I know that we all have big lives, big concerns and many obligations that demand our time and energy but I also know that we are blessed. I know that when I look outside my own life, my own woes and focus on the needs of others I feel fulfilled and purposeful. I know that when I take a moment to help someone in need I receive ten times the support, encouragement and strength back. But most of all, I know that when I stop to care, to help, to speak up I am doing what I am meant to be doing.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.



~Anne Frank

The Difference Makers

This time of year is always bittersweet for me. Its the end of the school year, things are coming to an end and new things will be starting up soon enough. Its the end of our chaotic mornings, rushing from school to school and the power struggle over finishing homework but it is the beginning of chaotic days filled with 'what's next?' and 'just five minutes more' and sand in the house and late nights around the bonfire. Schools over and summer is just beginning.

Its also the season of teacher gifts and notes of appreciation.

As I plan for this time of year I often think about the year we've had and the people who have made a difference to my kids, the people who have really seen them as individuals and have taken the time to celebrate them, educate them and guide them on their way. These thoughts inevitably lead me to think about the difference makers from my own school days, Mr. Kennedy and his basketball-to-real-life lessons, Mrs. Goertsen and her no nonsense belief in our ability to do more and be more and Mr. Enns and his humour, compassion and realism. These are the people that come to my mind when I think of the teachers who did that little bit extra to build a relationship with us, to understand us and to motivate us.

My kids have been pretty lucky. They all had the same kindergarten teacher, a woman of compassion, humour and infinite understanding and she set the bar pretty high for the teachers who came after her. She was the one who first noticed Dude's challenges for what they were, who instilled confidence and peace in a very nervous little Crafty and who laughed off all of Mischief's antics. She is the one who still makes them feel like the center of the universe whenever they see her. She has been a friend and an ally, an encouragement and an example and a source of many a much needed chuckle for me.

Mischief is 2 for 2. His grade one teacher has been stellar. I often joke that she is like having a Disney Princess as a teacher, all she is missing is the following of friendly forest creatures! She is sweet and caring, she has inspired Mischief to work harder, do more and believe in himself in a way I didn't think was possible. She corrects his craziness in a gentle yet meaningful way and she always has time to listen to his stories and jokes.

Crafty has had some great teachers too but I think the person who really has made the biggest difference to her so far was her second grade teacher. Dude had the same teacher in grade two and I have to say that woman is magic. She had the ability to see right into Crafty, figure her out and use her strengths to inspire her to work harder on her challenges. She is quick with the heart felt praise and slow to get frustrated or upset. She is creative, engaged and has unnatural amount of energy. I have never seen her angry, I have never seen her give up and Crafty adored her.

Dude has had an arsenal of creative and engaged educators work with him over the years. His fourth grade team was the dream team. His teacher, resource teacher, educational assistant and principal did amazing things last year and I thought that there was no way we'd ever see as much creativity and personal growth for Dude in a single year again but I was wrong. His team this year has worked hard and its evident. I have a lot of respect and a growing affection for some members of his team this year but if you ask him who his favourite person in the school is he'd, without a hesitation say, it's the resource teacher.

She has been his champion, translator and a safe haven this year. She has empowered him to speak up for himself while letting him know that she would always be available if he needed her. She has encouraged him to keep trying when things got tough, she has celebrated his successes and worked with him through his disappointments. He thinks she is smart and interesting to talk to and most of all, he knows that she is always on his side.

I appreciate each of these teachers, and the many others who have taken the time to get to know my kids, to inspire them and to educate them. Not every teacher will be a difference maker to every child but I believe that every teacher has it in them to challenge, inspire and motivate every student that passes through their doors, just as every student has it in them to teach and inspire their teachers.

Thank you for all you have done this school year ... enjoy your summer, Teachers!

The task of the excellent teacher is to stimulate "apparently ordinary" people to unusual effort. The tough problem is not in identifying winners: it is in making winners out of ordinary people. ~K. Patricia Cross

A Mental Break

I have seriously been trying to write this blog all day. I have thoughts, good, deep, funny thoughts but the problem is that they are all wisps and strands. The thoughts refuse to be caught and tamed and strung together today. The thoughts are chasing rabbits, enjoying the sunshine and running amok. So, I give up.

Instead of trying to put together something engaging and coherent today I am giving in to the crazy, random, frolicking thoughts. Today I am celebrating summer and just going with the flow. Today I will embrace the silly and celebrate summer with The Bean, Mr. Bean.

Here's one of my all time favourites ... laugh, enjoy and then get back to business!

That's so Gay

Recently, while playing outside, Dude got into a confrontation with some neighborhood kids and was called ‘gay’. He came in the house and told me about the scuffle. He was upset about the taunting and physical aggression that went along with the exchange but was confused about the insult ‘gay.’ He didn't understand why the boys used that word.

I sat there for a moment, looking at my boy and realised it was time for a life lesson I wasn't sure how to approach. My mind was spinning through the complicated issues of homosexuality, sin, choice, accountability, nature verses nurture and the millions of ways this conversation could go off track. I have to tell you, I panicked for a minute.

Then, I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and realised that only one thing really mattered, there was only one lesson he had to learn from this experience.

"What does gay mean?" I asked him

"I don't know. I think it maybe means dumb or something but that doesn't make sense."

"Why doesn't that make sense to you?"

"First, if it does mean dumb then they picked the wrong word. I'm not dumb, I'm very smart. But I don't think it means dumb because I saw one time a thing on the newspaper that said 'Gay Pride' and I don't think someone would be proud of being dumb."

"You're right, it doesn't really mean dumb. When those boys called you 'gay' that's probably what they meant but that's not really it means."

"What does it mean then?"

"The word 'gay' has had different meanings over time but right now, in our culture, 'gay' is the word that is used to describe men who love men."

"Like, love them like brothers?"

"No, Buddy. Love as in boyfriends."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Mom, is that okay with God? Y'know for men to love men like that?"

"Honestly, Dude that's a pretty big question. Some people think that being gay is a sin and that if someone is gay then they are going to go to hell and that, understandably, makes gay people really hurt and angry. There's a lot I'm not sure about but I know that to God sin is sin, there is no sin worse than any other kind of sin. I know that the Bible says that if you ask Jesus into your heart then you get to go to Heaven. And I know that God wants us to treat each other with respect and kindness. That's what I know, so that's what I try to do."

"Do you know any gay people?"

"Yes, I do. I have some family members and some friends who are gay."

"What are they like?"

"They are just like me and you. They are smart and funny and kind and loving. Sometimes they are angry and mean and say the wrong things or do the wrong things. They are just regular people."

"So is calling someone 'gay' wrong?"

"If you are trying to hurt or embarrass someone, then yes, it's wrong. Whenever you take something that is a part of a person, part of who they are and what they believe is right and good and use it to hurt them its wrong. Everyone deserves to be respected."

"Everyone deserves to be respected. Got it."


Everyone deserves to be respected, got it?

Sunday Brunch - What Comes Next

I grew up in a church culture that spent a fair bit of time talking about 'The End Times.' People were always watching for signs, puzzling out the exact meaning of events written about in Revelations and talking about what comes next. I remember being nine or ten years old and going to a church movie night to watch a dramatic interpretation of the rapture and the events surrounding The Second Coming. It freaked the heck out of me.

Its for that reason that I have steered clear of conversations and teachings about Revelations. I believe in pre-tribulation rapture just because I don't want to be here for the messy bits but that's as far as my End Times and beyond theology goes. I figure that all that will be sorted out when I get to Heaven, after a long and full life, so there's no need to get wigged out about what may or may not happen when the end of the world comes. I'd much rather focus on what I am doing with my life here and now, what impression and impact I am leaving on those who know me, than worry about rewards and treasures in the after life.

When I started to hear chatter about a book written about a kid's visit to Heaven I internally rolled my eyes. Here we go again, people lining up to get all spooky spiritual on The Glory Train. I promised myself that I wouldn't even glance at this book in passing, never mind actually picking it up and giving it a read. That promise lasted about two weeks, until my contact at Manitoba Christian Online delivered a new stack of books for me to review. Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo was on the top of the stack.

I did my best to shove all my childhood biased aside and give the book an honest read. Turns out that was much easier than I thought. The book is far from the 'Be prepared, the end is nigh' warnings of my childhood. Its a gentle reminder that the life we lead here on Earth, the people we love and the way we spend our time and efforts, has eternal consequences; that Jesus is real and He really loves us and that the people we love remember us and are waiting for us. And for me, it was an affirmation that the Jesus I thought I knew is really the Jesus who is.

Click on the link to read my review and then go pick up a copy of Heaven is for Real for yourself ...

Heaven is for Real Book Review


I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.

              ~Jesus

That's How I Roll ...

Some days my life seems surreal and just a little too much to handle.

You know those days, right?  The days when you're sure that this is all a dream and you'll wake up in a minute, that the 'real' parents are on the way to pick the kids up and you'll go back to your regular life of lazy Saturday mornings, late nights hanging out with friends and doing whatever you want whenever you want.  You fantasize about being cool, hip and fashionable again. No more homework, school meetings and play dates, its all trendy music, swanky restaurants and clean cars for you, in this dreamland.

But then you wake up, look around and realize that you wouldn't trade all of this for all the peaceful mornings and uninterrupted bathroom breaks in the world ... these are your peeps and this is how you roll.

Here's to Toyota and making the minivan cool! This is how I roll ...

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller

Stand up, Be a Grown-Up

Bullying, acts of aggression, in schools is nothing new. My dad was picked on when he was a kid, I was the brunt of many cruel jokes during my junior high years and now I see the same thoughtlessness and spite spilling out all over the hallways and playgrounds at the schools I visit. Nothing new, right? Right, except there is something new going on in schools and communities and its not good.

When I was a kid, and being picked on, I could count on the adults in my school and neighborhood to step in and break up a bullying situation. They would exercise the natural authority that adults have, send the aggressors off with a promise to contact their parents and make sure the victim of the exchange was all right. Adults were the calming force, the voice of reason, they could be relied on to be fair, in control and present. That's not always the case now.

I'm not sure when this shift started to happen but sometime between when I was a kid and when I started having kids things changed. Kids can no longer count on being safe just because an adult is around. They can't depend on the cool head, unbiased assessment and absolute authority that adults used to bring into a childhood squabble. Adults don't seem to know where they stand or how much they can say to kids these days and the result is that too many kids fall victim to acts of repeated aggression, within sight of adults, and the adults just turn their heads and keep walking.

Some adults don't want to interfere because they are intimidated by the repercussions of reprimanding some else's kid and they don't feel like the kids would listen even if they did try to intervene. Sometimes they are cautious because one or more of the kids are the children of someone popular, prominent or influential in the school or community. Other times adults don't get involved because they are busy, in the middle of something or on their way somewhere, they assume the next adult to come along will jump in. By their passivity they are condoning the continuing acts of violence, aggression and mean chatter that fill our schools and communities. They are contributing to our culture of cruelty by not standing up and speaking up and protecting all kids.

Schools are trying to teach kids to stand up for one another but I think its time we require adults to be grown ups. Its time that we, the parents, neighbors and citizens in our communities, get involved with the kids in our world. Its time to stop standing there, lamenting about society going to hell in a hand basket, its time we remember that we are the adults and a gentle but firm word can save a life, change a life and help to build character. It's time that we stand up and BE the grown ups.

This is an anti-bullying video. When you watch it imagine all of the passive observers as adults, and not children, imagine a playground, school, hockey arena, soccer field filled with passive adults watching children rip apart each others self esteem and dignity. Sound ridiculous? Yeah, it kind of does, but all too often its the reality our kids live with everyday.

Are you standing up, speaking out? Are you being a grown-up? Am I?

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

~Albert Einstein