Thursday, August 11, 2011

Babies are Nocturnal and Other Words of Wisdom

Last weekend we spent some time hanging out with my cousin. She is expecting her first baby, a little boy, any day now. As we were leaving her house, Mischief thanked her for the invite and said this to her, "well, good luck with that baby! Enjoy your last few nights of sleep....cause babies are nocturnal, you know!"

That got me to wondering, what other wise words on babies and toddlers do the kids have to share. So this one is for all of you newbie parents out there ... sit back and soak in the wise words about babyhood and toddlerhood from three experts.

Mischief, "Right now, if you have a back inside you, you should walk alot. The walking is like squishing back and forth for the baby and it will sleep more. If its sleeping maybe it won't kick your bladder and make you pee your pants."

Crafty, "You should pee on that stick thing so you know for sure that you have a baby in there and you should probably go to the doctor once in a while and he'll tell you when the baby is done, like, ready to come out."

Dude, "When the baby comes you should go on the Internet to figure out how to take care of it. Its important to know what to feed it before it has teeth and how to change a diaper the right way. Those are the most important things to know."

Dude, "When you have a baby you have to wake up every night in the middle of the night to take care of it. If its hungry you have to feed it, then it will have some energy so it will want to play and then since it ate and played it will probably make a mess in its diaper and then you'll have to change it. If it doesn't like diaper changes then it might cry so then you'll have to cuddle it. Its kind of like that book If You Give a Pig a Pancake, except with a baby, not a pig."

Crafty, "When you have a baby you can't go out that much anymore. I don't think you'll have that much time for video games either at first. You are going to feel excited but very rushed about stuff. There's lots to do when you have to think of someone else first."

Mischief, "You should get a baby mom-meter so the baby doesn't have to sleep in your room, that way you can just turn the volume down and go back to sleep if it starts crying. Just joking, you should probably go check on the baby. The other thing is that babies are very messy. They make a mess with their food, they drool all the time and don't forget about the poop. Oh, man!"

Crafty, "At the age of three babies want to have their own way. They get very selfish but don't give them their own way all the time or they'll grow up spoiled like London from Suite Life and noooobody want to live with that!"

The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher.  ~Robert Brault

1 comment:

AnitaRex said...

This was the best.... so funny!