Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My Defective Boob

... and I'm not talking about Mr. Awesome.

I have never been the picture of health and wellness. I have been overweight my whole adult life and I've never been able to stick to a diet and exercise routine. I am not very proactive when it comes to my  health, neither am I a very good advocate for my own needs but there is something I have always done, one thing that I did religiously for my own health and peace of mind; monthly self breast exams.

Each month, the week before my period I give The Girls a good once over. I figure its the least that I can do for myself. It only takes a couple of minutes and I am laying down in bed anyway so why not. I have been doing this every month for at least ten years and I have never found anything suspicious ... until April.

In April I found a small, marble sized bump in my right breast. From April to June, when I saw my doctor, it had grown to the size of a golf ball. By July, when I had a mammogram, it was changing the shape and size of my Girl. In October when I went for an ultrasound the lump was the size of a lemon and very painful. In fact, it had been painful all along and that coupled with the rate of growth had the doctors convinced that it was a cyst.

The day of my ultrasound, Mr. Awesome dropped me off at the clinic and took the kids to the park. It was just an ultrasound to confirm that my painful lump was, in fact, a cyst. So as I was laying there on the table, defective boob hanging out, being examined by two doctors and a nurse I was shocked when they declared my cyst a non-cyst and I was panicked when they said the word 'biopsy' and jabbed a huge needle into my poor Girl.

A week later I got the call. My non-cyst is breast cancer. I have breast cancer. But I also have Hope and Hope is much bigger, stronger and ferocious than cancer.

I have an appointment with a surgeon and there will be plans made and treatments outlined but nothing is more important than Hope and Confidence. My faith is a part of who I am, it weaves its way through my life, holding things together, holding me together. I know my God. I know He sees me, has an awesome plan for me that I am not even close to completing. He gave me an incredible husband, three magnificent kids and a lifetime of love to give. I am not finished.

We have been through a lot in our 15 years, Mr. Awesome and me, and the one thing we have learned through floods, Autism, miscarriages, accidents and illness is that circumstances don't have to define who you are or how you live. Circumstances are the things that happen to you, not the things that define you. The defining comes in your reactions to the circumstances, your attitude and perspective.

I am not 'That Mom with Breast Cancer.' I am Some Random Mother who has her share of challenges and more than her fair share of blessing, joy, peace ... and hope. So I will accept your prayers, words of encouragement, happy thoughts and good vibes and I'll keep you posted to my progress.

Thanks for being my pals!

Jesus died for my right boob ... so I don't have to!
~Some Random Mother paraphrasing Isaiah 53:5


Heidi Dean said...

Wow! First of all, I don't take you for the kind of girl that wants to hear, "So sorry about the bad news," but I'm compelled to say it because I AM! I love, love, love your positive, faith filled outlook. We will believe with you for complete healing of your Girl and your entire body!

Some Random Mother said...

Thanks ... I was sorry to hear this news too. There are a million other things I'd rather be doing with my time but here I am so let's just deal with it! I appreciate your prayers ... keep 'em coming!

Tara said...

Nichole! that's crazy news...Gosh...don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry, totally thinking of you and the family and that we are praying hard and thinking of you. My Oma was a breast cancer survivor and so proud of it!! Sounds like you are ready to beat the crap out of it! Let me know if you need anything. Love ya lots! Tara

A Mom After God's Own Heart said...

I am a 6 year cancer survivor (not breast) and I am in awe of your positive attitude! I was introduced to your blog a little while ago and I love your honesty and positivity despite the frustrations of life that come your way! Way to be an encouragement! I am praying for completely healing and strength as you go through this journey!

Some Random Mother said...

Thank you for sharing stories of survival ... its a testimony for all that's possible!

Cindy said...

Dear Nichole, I am very saddened by these news.... I wish that none of my dear friends and family would ever have to go through something like this... However you are already an amazing testimony of your confidence and faith in our Great God! Like you have mentioned He is greater than any circumstance. Oscar and I started praying for you and will continue to do so. I believe with you that you will live a long, happy, blessed and healthy life in this Earth and you will see your children grow and have their own. In Jesus name! We love you and your family. Cindy

SherryKay said...

Hello old friend...Greg and I were shocked and saddened to hear this news...and yet so encouraged by your hope in Christ and His love for you and plans for your life. As fellow travellers on the road of physical suffering (as well as mental, emotional and spiritual), we can attest to God's goodness and incredible love even though the "world" might think the opposite by looking purely at our circumstances. Our God is mighty and powerful and so, sooooo good!! Looking forward to hearing of all the good things He is going to do in and through you!!

Dave and Cindy B said...

Hi Nichole and Brad... Dave and I have been praying for you daily since we heard your news down in Phoenix. We are now home in Winnipeg as of 1 am today. We know that a positive attitude and faith in what God has done for you will help you walk through this valley rather than camp there. (I know you love camping but I think Banff is a much better spot.) We love you guys and will be standing with you and praying with you all the way. Thanks for keeping us posted so we have more practical wisdom when we pray. Love you!

Dizzydooty said...

I feel a little like an interloper, posting here, but after reading your blog for some time, I feel a little like I know you. I am sorry that you got this news. Very much so. But from what I've read, I have no doubt that you will get through this with your love, faith, and good humour. I'll send some prayers your way as well because we can always use more love in our lives.

Some Random Mother said...

Thank you everyone, again, for your kind words of hope, encouragement and support. I appreciate each and every one of them. No word spoken to encourage or strengthen another person is ever an intrusion or misplaced ... whether from an old friend or a friend waiting to happen!