The Pink Scarf

A couple of months ago my friend gave me a pink scarf. She called first to ask if I'd wear it, knowing my dislike for the colour pink. She also knows that I am a sucker for a good cause so once she told me it was purchased in support of Breast Cancer Research I said I'd take it.

That was Before. Before, when my lumpy breast was just a cyst and I was running through my life at warp speed. Before I woke up every morning with my first conscious thought being, "I have cancer." Before I ran out of steam long before I finished my 'To Do' list, Before I needed to nap in the afternoon if I wanted to go out in the evening, Before I worried about whether my exhaustion was caused by stress or cancer. Before I saw the colour pink as an uber-girly hue that I would never voluntarily wear.

That was Before. This is Now.

Now my second thought every morning is, "This has come to pass, to pass, to pass." Now I am setting priorities and spending my time doing what I really want to do. Now I am saying "no" to things that clutter my time and sap my energy. Now I am experiencing Hope, Kindness and Encouragement as real, tangible things. Now I see the colour pink as a banner of all these things, as a mantle in honour of all those who have come before me, as a talisman against negativity and despair. Now I wear my pink scarf like a warm hug and a suit of armour.

I wear my scarf almost every day. It reminds me of the friend who gave it to me, her thoughtfulness, irreverent humour, fierce love and protective strength. It reminds me that she believes in me, loves me and is fighting for me ... and so are many, many others.

 I reminded myself of that last night, when I was tired and sad. I wrapped myself in my pink scarf and thought about all of the people who are cheering me on. All the people who are thoughtful, funny, loving and strong. All the people who believe in me, who are fighting along side me. I wrapped myself in my scarf, in my people, in pink and remembered that Hope is the thing. Hope is the thing that held me Before, is carrying me through Now and will be with me After.

After.

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. ~Emily Kimbrough