The Pollyanna Sisterhood

I just have to say 'Wow!' and 'Thanks' and 'You are so awesome!' I am humbled, encouraged, strengthed and comforted by all the notes and messages I recieved yesterday. It empowers me to know that I have such a large group of supporters in my corner ... you all rock!

I've been thinking a lot about what has made me who I am, the things I've learned and the people I've known. I grew up in a good family, attending a church and a school that taught me all about God's love, grace and faithfulness. I was fortunate to be raised knowing that even though the circumstances of my birth were unplanned, I ... me, the person God created, was not a mistake. I have always known that God thought of me, planned for me but it wasn't until the summer I was 19 years old that I started to see what that all really meant.

That summer, on a whim, I applied to work at a camp a couple of hours from home. I didn't know anyone who worked there and I had no connection to that place at all. I just saw the ad on the university bulletin board and I applied. Two weeks later I was jammed into a club van with 10 strangers heading to an island in the middle of nowhere.

It was in that place, away from everyone and everything I knew, that I began to know myself. I began to think about life, God and my future and I began to get a sense of the person I want to be. I remember sitting on the dock one crisp May morning and deciding that I want to live a thankful life. In fact I wrote it in my journal, I commit to being a thankful person, to finding one good thing in every situation to be thankful for and if that's the only good thing around, I will hold tight to it and never let it go. I will be thankful.

I'm not sure what prompted me to write those words but now, more than 15 years later, those words are written on my heart and a part of who I am. That naive promise I made when life was an adventure and anything was possible and life only held good things is still serving me now ... when life is an adventure and anything is possible and life only holds good things.

I've been 'accused' of having a Pollyanna view of life. When those words were first hurled at me, I was offended but as I thought about what those words really mean I couldn't disagree. I do have a Pollyanna approach to life. I would rather see the good in people than the bad, I would rather be thankful for the blessings in life than dwell on the disappointments and I would rather live in a place of perpetual Hope than unending despair. Yep ... I can't deny it, that's kind of Pollyanna.

 I am proud to be part of the Pollyanna Sisterhood, it is what I was created for. I know that a huge part of my purpose in life is to encourage, empower and inspire hope in others; not because I have it all figured out but because I am learning as I go. I know life is tough, disappointing and things often go awry but I also know that life is a beautiful adventure and that thankfulness makes all the difference ... thankfulness and encouragement.

All those messages I received yesterday have been saved in a file on my computer and written on the walls of my heart. I am thankful for you, I am thankful that you took the time to encourage me and I am thankful that I get to walk this journey with you on my side. So although I would rather be doing almost anything but fighting cancer, I am thankful ... I am glad for the lessons I will learn and the friends who are on my side.


“Be glad. Be good. Be brave.”



― Eleanor H. Porter (author of Pollyanna) 

My Defective Boob

... and I'm not talking about Mr. Awesome.

I have never been the picture of health and wellness. I have been overweight my whole adult life and I've never been able to stick to a diet and exercise routine. I am not very proactive when it comes to my  health, neither am I a very good advocate for my own needs but there is something I have always done, one thing that I did religiously for my own health and peace of mind; monthly self breast exams.

Each month, the week before my period I give The Girls a good once over. I figure its the least that I can do for myself. It only takes a couple of minutes and I am laying down in bed anyway so why not. I have been doing this every month for at least ten years and I have never found anything suspicious ... until April.

In April I found a small, marble sized bump in my right breast. From April to June, when I saw my doctor, it had grown to the size of a golf ball. By July, when I had a mammogram, it was changing the shape and size of my Girl. In October when I went for an ultrasound the lump was the size of a lemon and very painful. In fact, it had been painful all along and that coupled with the rate of growth had the doctors convinced that it was a cyst.

The day of my ultrasound, Mr. Awesome dropped me off at the clinic and took the kids to the park. It was just an ultrasound to confirm that my painful lump was, in fact, a cyst. So as I was laying there on the table, defective boob hanging out, being examined by two doctors and a nurse I was shocked when they declared my cyst a non-cyst and I was panicked when they said the word 'biopsy' and jabbed a huge needle into my poor Girl.

A week later I got the call. My non-cyst is breast cancer. I have breast cancer. But I also have Hope and Hope is much bigger, stronger and ferocious than cancer.

I have an appointment with a surgeon and there will be plans made and treatments outlined but nothing is more important than Hope and Confidence. My faith is a part of who I am, it weaves its way through my life, holding things together, holding me together. I know my God. I know He sees me, has an awesome plan for me that I am not even close to completing. He gave me an incredible husband, three magnificent kids and a lifetime of love to give. I am not finished.

We have been through a lot in our 15 years, Mr. Awesome and me, and the one thing we have learned through floods, Autism, miscarriages, accidents and illness is that circumstances don't have to define who you are or how you live. Circumstances are the things that happen to you, not the things that define you. The defining comes in your reactions to the circumstances, your attitude and perspective.

I am not 'That Mom with Breast Cancer.' I am Some Random Mother who has her share of challenges and more than her fair share of blessing, joy, peace ... and hope. So I will accept your prayers, words of encouragement, happy thoughts and good vibes and I'll keep you posted to my progress.

Thanks for being my pals!

Jesus died for my right boob ... so I don't have to!
~Some Random Mother paraphrasing Isaiah 53:5

The Catch-Phrase Kid

I think I have been watching too much TV lately. I have developed a paranoia of drowning in stuff, of becoming a hoarder. For the past couple of weeks I have been Mean Mom. Y'know the one. She's the mom who makes you run and hide when you hear her coming because she always has a list of jobs to do. She's the one you never want to catch you resting, playing or watching TV and you CERTAINLY never whine about being bored to because she'll make you clean under your bed, sort through the dress up clothes or tidy your closet. She's the one you dread and I am Her.

The kids have had several Fridays off in a row and each Friday I have had a new task for them to do above and beyond their regular chores. They have sorted through books, games, toys and clothes. They have tossed broken things and boxed things they've out grown. They have pulled out couches, crawled under beds and even crawled into the dark and creepy corners of the storage bins to discover hidden treasures and even more hidden junk.

Now what? My laundry room is piled high with boxes of things that are good but out grown that I need to sort. Somehow me making them work creates more work for me! Not fair!!!

As I was whining about how unfair it is that I have so much extra work to do now Mischief saunters up the the laundry room door, leans against the door jam and rolls his lollipop around in his mouth for a minute while he watches me move boxes and sort through the mountain of things blocking my office door. After hearing me grumble for a minute or so he pops the sucker out of his mouth and says, "Be careful what you wish for."

"What?"

"Like you say sometimes, you wished for us to clean our rooms and now your laundry room is a mess ... be careful what you wish for."

"Listen Smarty-Pants," I laugh.

"Nope," he interrupts, holding up a pudgy little hand, "You can't always get what you want, life isn't fair and be careful what you wish for. That's it." He slides his lollipop back into his mouth, shrugs, shakes his head and walks away.

... and I cleaned the laundry room. Be careful what you wish for, Mean Mom.

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. ~Franklin P. Jones

Salute to the Creative

Today my kids are home from school. Its report card prep day in our school division and so I am stuck with hyper, bored and dangerously imaginative kids all day. it takes a lot to keep them entertained and engaged in something constructive and I have a lot of respect for their teachers because their job is twice as challenging. they have to keep them engaged AND they have to teach them.

I love seeing people tap into their creativity to make the mundane interesting and exciting and I especially love it when teachers step out of their comfort zone, leave their dignity on the doorstep and create a lesson, or even a moment in a lesson, that the kids will absolutely remember.

Here are a couple extraordinary teachers and the crazy lessons they planned to capture their students' attention ... and imaginations.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. ~Gail Godwin

Extraordinary Love

Love is a crazy thing. It can take your breath away, kick you in the gut, sustain you, devastate you, inspire you, confuse you, send you soaring, leave you hanging. It can be everything that is good and kind and beautiful and it can be your worst nightmare. It can fill you up and it can suck the life out of you. It can make you feel like you have gain the world and it can make you feel like you have lost your very soul. Love is a crazy thing.

The craziest thing about love is that it can be all these things at once and none of them at the same time.

There are a million different types and degrees of love. I love peanut M&Ms, scarecrows, the Starbucks girl, my kids and Mr. Awesome ... just not all in the same way. My devotion to each is true and strong but I don't love them the same way. I still love the first boy who ever stole my heart, my high school best friend and the 90 year old woman I would share my coffee break with when I worked at the nursing home. I haven't seen any of these people in more than ten years but they each still hold a precious place in my heart. And my affection for each person who holds a piece of my heart does not diminish my love for the others. I think it adds to it.

I think we become the sum of everyone and everything we have loved and our attitude about those Loves is what shapes us. I have had my share of heart ache but I have also know unconditional, take my breath away, humbling love ... and I am thankful for both. I am thankful for the lessons of strength, survival and beauty I learned in my moments of heart ache. I am thankful that because of those disappointments, I cherish the Loves I have more deeply and I know that I am stronger than I thought.

I wake every day in awe of the people who love me in spite of my shortcomings, pettiness and ugliness, who see me through Love's eyes and cherish me just as I am, who lift me up, have my back and walk beside me. I am thankful with my every breath that my life is filled with people who see me worthy of love even when I don't feel worthy because it is in that Love that I am made worthy.

Its all so extraordinary ... this Love thing.

All that you can't leave behind.
~U2

Celebration of Thanks

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I was sitting in church with my family, listening to the message and thinking about the thirty-something thanksgiving services I have been to, the thirty-something thanksgiving meals I have sat down for and the thirty-something times we have been asked to take pause and think about all the things we are thankful for. Year after year, we sat in somber silence, counting our blessings. Why?

Why be somber? Why be so serious when thinking about, thanking about all of the good things in your life. Why not celebrate your blessings? Why not rejoice in all of the good? Why not? Why do people automatically equate laughter with frivolity?

I had a teacher in junior high who was pretty intense. He rarely smiled and often spoke of The Seriousness of our Faith. He had all the humour of a Quaker (sorry if there are any good humoured Quakers out there ... didn't mean to offend). I get that he was trying to instill in us the awesome sacrifice of The Cross but I am pretty sure God laughs, that Jesus parties (check out John 2). So why do we try to convince ourselves that in order to be properly grateful for the life we have we have to be sombre?

I have a great life. I have three wacky, wonderful kids. Mr. Awesome is my best friend, partner and love of my life. We have friends who love us unconditionally, a family who always has our back and a church that teaches us about hope, love and acceptance. I have gifts and talents that I am still discovering and a whole lifetime to figure out how to us them. My blessings are innumerable and that is something worth celebrating ... are yours?

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness.  It will change your life mightily.  ~Gerald Good

Inspired to Finish?

Inspire - to serve as the enticing cause, to urge or or encourage, to fill with revolutionary ideas


Folks who know me know that I am very easily inspired. I read Anne of Green Gables and wanted to be a red headed orphan, I watched 'Rudy' and I wanted to play football for Notre Dame, I have a thought and I immediately write a story synopsis. Some days I can have a new 'inspiration' every two minutes...just ask Mr. Awesome. He loves it when I start a conversation with, "I have this idea..."

But being 'inspired' to start something isn't enough, is it? Not if you are trying to write a novel, that's for sure.

Just over a year ago I started writing a novel, a sort of Bridget-Jones-for-the-Mommy-set. I was so inspired when I started that I was easily writing 3,000 words every afternoon. The story was coming so easily and the words just flowed ... I was inspired.

Then I hit a bump on Inspiration Highway and so matter how I tried to write around it I could move past it smoothly, so I detoured. I skipped ahead in the story and kept writing but I had lost my sense of direction, my groove, so I quit. I was uninspired and things got tough and I was frustrated ... so I quit.

I am a quitter.

But I plan to change that. This month, November, is Nanowrimo. Its National Novel Writing Month. This is a little boost that we pre-professional writers often use to jump start our projects. I have started Nano several times but I have never finished. This year that will change. This year I will write 50,000 words and finish the first draft of my novel. This year I won't be a quitter. This year I am inspired to finish!

Feel free to ask, harass and hound me about my word count all month. Right now I'm at 21,000 by November 30 I plan to be at 70,000. Help me!


No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
~Master Yoda