It Doesn't, You Do

We've had a heck of a week, how 'bout you?

We've been dealing with some stuff, catching up on life and just trying to make sense of some senseless things so I've not spent a lot of time reading the news or checking out other blogs this week. Until tonight.

Tonight we had dinner, lingered over a cup of coffee and then I caught up on the news while Mr. Awesome cleaned up from supper. That's when I stumbled across the story that has rocked the cyber world. Its the tragic story of Amanda Todd.

If you Tweet, Facebook or have eyeballs, I'm sure you've seen snippets of this story somewhere. Miss Todd was a teen who made some foolish mistakes, was stalked, baited and bullied and ultimately took her own life. She was fifteen. She was precious.

I read the news stories and then I watched the video she made shortly before her third and final suicide attempt. In it she tells her story, how she was made a bad decision when she was thirteen that turned into two years of being hunted, taunted and humiliated. She tells of several school transfers and even a move to a different city to try to escape the inescapable. She finishes off her video by confessing how alone she feels, how its a struggle to live.

Watching that video after the week we've had made another, very popular YouTube video seem like a joke. Awhile back a bunch of celebrities did a series of anti-bullying videos called 'It gets better.' The idea was to give kids who are bullied hope that things get better when you're older. The thing is, they don't.

Mr. Awesome faced a situation this week where he was yelled at, humiliated and belittled by another adult. This guy used information he had gained during my illness to take jabs at Mr. Awesome where he was most vulnerable. He exploded without warning, exhaled and felt better while Mr. Awesome was left rattled.

Maybe this guy was having a bad day. Maybe he was worked up about something else and Mr. Awesome was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe he didn't realize how hurtful he was being. Or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing and he's just a jerk. I don't know. What I do know is that what he said and how he said it was hurtful, unnecessary and cruel.

I also know that Mr. Awesome is better than this situation. He's better than this unkindness. He's better than this act of self indulgent, immature behaviour.

Bullying is bullying no matter how old you are. Unkindness hurts whether you're 15 or 45. Being victimized is humiliating whether you're in the schoolyard or the workplace. It doesn't get better. As long as people are people and selfishness reigns, it doesn't get better.

But you do.

You get stronger, smarter and more resilient. You learn that cruel people are that way because of what's in their heart, not because of what you do, what you wear or what you say. You learn that people who carry a lot of baggage take wide swings and they don't care who they hit. You learn that one ounce of truth wrapped in a ton lies and anger becomes twisted and warped. You learn that its not about you.

So the hope we need to give our kids, the lifeline they need to stay connected, to stay tethered to this life is this; It doesn't get better, you do. And you never have to be alone.

Not ever.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.  ~Mother Teresa