Back at 'Er

I sat down yesterday to blog and realized that I've forgotten how. After a four and a half month blogging sabbatical I've lost my groove. There are things I want to say, funny little stories I want to share and deep stirrings of my heart that I want to express but I can't seem to get going.

I had actually planned on returning to the blogoshpere  weeks ago but life and my own neurosis got in the way. I used the excuse of end of summer, back to school, back to work busyness to cover for my fear of the keyboard. I was afraid that once I sat down to write here again I'd discover that whatever magic, whatever connection we had - blogger and reader - would be gone, faded away from lack of attention and care. I didn't want to discover that my moment had passed so I hid behind the excuse of everyday mom life stuff. I hid from the very thing I wanted most, I hid from what I love because I was afraid it wouldn't love me back.

Then I asked myself, "Does it matter? Does it matter if no one reads your blog ever again? Does that change who you are? Does it diminish your worth as a human being?"

"Um, I guess not."

No. It doesn't. Part of being a grown up person is understanding that your self worth isn't tied to what you can do and who and how many people notice what you can do. Your self worth comes from inside of you. It comes from understanding that you, alone, as you are, are a magnificent being. That your loving heart is beautiful. Your quirks and goofiness are charming. Your generosity is breathtaking and your presence in the world is irreplaceable.

As I step back into this blogging thing that I love, may I encourage you to rediscover the thing that brings you joy. Embrace that gift, talent or hobby that makes your heart sing even if nobody notices. Especially if nobody notices. Live your passion for your own soul's sake, not for praise, adulation and recognition because applause fades but contentment in your own worth never does.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” 
― Malcolm X