I like to think of myself as a 'glass is half full' sort of person. I try to keep my cool, hang onto perspective and not let the small stuff ruffle my feathers. I try to be grateful for something in every circumstance and keep my sense of humor close at hand. Despite all this I had a rough day yesterday.
A million little things went wrong and my computer skills being what they are, I had no end to frustration while sitting in this chair yesterday afternoon. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish and I got none of them done. With each passing 'error' message I was getting increasingly cranky. Once I was in full throttle Crank Mode the kids could do nothing right, the door was the epitome of annoying and everything was Mr. Awesome's fault. To say I was no fun to be around would be an understatement to say the least.
It wasn't like I didn't notice what a crank I was being or that I didn't care. I felt bad and a little ridiculous for letting a machine wind me up like that but once I was on the crazy train I wasn't sure how to get off. After my eighth attempt to fix things on my web page I knew I should just walk away but I kept going. It wasn't until I slammed my fist on the computer desk and gave a mighty yawp that I realised I was on the express crazy train and the only way off was to jump.
So I jumped.
I shut off the computer and went to my room to cool down. As I was laying there, thinking about the stupid computer and my complete over reaction, I couldn't help but to think about the year I've had. People have often asked me about this 'bad year' and I've laughed. This isn't a bad year.
We've had some crummy stuff to deal with but this isn't a bad year. This is a year when we, my family and friends, have grown closer to each other and to God. This is a year when we've laughed, shared and loved. This is a year when we've realised just what we're made of, how strong we are and how much we mean to each other. This is a year when we've survived and thrived. This is a good year.
I wasn't having a bad day. I was having a rough circumstance. That's it. Yesterday, before the computer fiasco, I read a book, had Crafty's help doing laundry, watched Mischief do handstands til his face was red and he was dizzy, talked with Dude about Lego and Lord of the Rings, took the kids for slurpees and found a poem Mr. Awesome wrote for me when we were engaged. I had a good day yesterday.
When I emerged from my room, calmed down and ready to make supper, Crafty approached me with great caution and asked if I was feeling better. I told her I was.
"Bad days suck," she said.
"True, they do," I replied. "I'm not having a bad day, though. I had a fit over a bad circumstance. Sorry I was so miserable."
"That's okay. What's the worst day you ever had?"
"I don't know but I when I do have bad days I try to remember that everyone has a tough time every now and then, and often times other people are going through stuff that's way worse."
"Well just now, I told myself that as frustrating as today was, at least my brother didn't use my blow dryer to groom his award winning cow - true story"
She laughed and walked away ... thinking I had lost my mind, I'm sure. I set about making dinner, holding on to the truth that at least my 'bad day' didn't involve a cow stealing my cosmetic appliances.
Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~Hugh Sidey